An Old Friend

Plinky asked, “Which of your friends have you know for the longest amount of time?”

2009-05-23: Morn­ing Sky Green­ery (rest) IMG_9780

I’m just going to count peo­ple I’m reg­u­lar­ly in touch with offline who are not close kin, or things would be very com­plex, as there are lots of old friends and rel­a­tives on my Face­book friends list.

I’ve tech­ni­cal­ly known Tate since high school, but we did­n’t get to know each oth­er very well until this past year. So I sup­pose James, who I met via Sam back in 1998, wins the prize for being around the longest, poor guy.

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My Top 5 Strengths

Plinky said, “List your top five strengths.”


1) When I give my word or my heart, I don’t change my mind. I’m loy­al to a fault.

2) I can learn just about any­thing I care to learn. Intel­li­gence is use­ful.

3) I don’t lie or mis­rep­re­sent myself. I’m the same per­son online and offline. I prac­tice rad­i­cal hon­esty.

4) I inher­it­ed cre­ativ­i­ty from both of my grand­moth­ers. I’m great with col­ors and am a tal­ent­ed stitch­er.

5) I’m a sur­vivor. I’ve expe­ri­enced some ter­ri­bly painful things start­ing in child­hood and haven’t allowed them to ruin my life.

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This mon­th’s NaBloPo­Mo theme is “Jump.” All the prompts have been cen­tered around that theme, but I haven’t yet used them. I’m going to play catch-up here.

What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you hear the word jump?
The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word “jump” is a fam­i­ly lore that said I could not man­age to jump as a child. I tried and tried, but I just could­n’t get off the ground with­out some­thing to jump off of (I was fear­less then, though). 1 Maybe that’s one rea­son I’m just not ter­ri­bly excit­ed about this mon­th’s theme.

What is some­thing you recent­ly jumped into?
I jumped back into play­ing the ukulele, after some con­tem­pla­tion.

How do you feel about start­ing new projects? and How do you feel about new peo­ple jump­ing into your life? and Do you need to look before you leap?
I’m not fear­less at this stage in my life. I def­i­nite­ly look before I leap, espe­cial­ly regard­ing bring­ing new peo­ple into my life. I don’t jump into projects, either, although I would prob­a­bly be more like­ly to do that if I had more mon­ey avail­able. I’m hop­ing to return to work soon and improve that sit­u­a­tion, at least.

What is some­thing you’d like to jump into if you had more time/money?
As I men­tioned in a recent post, I would try weav­ing. I might even try spin­ning.

1 My mater­nal grand­fa­ther, Dad­dy Boots, said that my legs were so short the fam­i­ly should sue the city for build­ing the side­walks too close to my rear end.


I’m so tired of all the depress­ing sto­ries in my Face­book news feed. Every day there’s more news about all the ground lost in wom­en’s rights (espe­cial­ly repro­duc­tive rights) in this coun­try, or some­thing like the ter­ri­ble results of the Wis­con­sin efforts to recall Gov­er­nor Walk­er, or some child gone miss­ing, or peo­ple shot dead while doing some­thing innocu­ous like attend­ing a funer­al (that hap­pened in Dekalb Coun­ty, here in the metro Atlanta area, yes­ter­day).

So I delib­er­ate­ly try to find pos­i­tive things to coun­ter­act all that neg­a­tive stuff. I’m always on the look­out for them, and would love any sug­ges­tions y’all have for such.

  • Pos­i­tive Press, home of the Pos­i­tive Quote of the Day list, Pos­i­tive News list, and oth­er resources.
  • The Dai­ly Good is an entire web site full of good news, with a mail­ing list you can sub­scribe to in order to get a dai­ly dose deliv­ered up to your mail­box. Of course they’re on Face­book, too.
  • Open Your Mind is a Face­book com­mu­ni­ty full of good stuff.

Energy Boost

Plinky asked, “What ener­gizes you?”

Trans­par­ent Role­play­ing Dice

I strug­gle with major depres­sion (actu­al­ly, treat­ment resis­tant depres­sion), so it’s dif­fi­cult to find much that ener­gizes me. How­ev­er, real­ly great con­ver­sa­tion with just a few peo­ple does it quite well. The same goes for sto­ry games, or a real­ly good table­top role­play­ing ses­sion that focus­es on char­ac­ters and plot rather than hack and slash.

Being around too many peo­ple drains me of ener­gy, and I need alone time to recu­per­ate. A nice soak in the bath with nobody else around, time with a good book, or time to enjoy some qui­et music are all plea­sures I use to help recov­er from being drained.

I’m def­i­nite­ly an intro­vert, as evi­denced by what ener­gizes me and what drains me. I used to be able to fake extro­ver­sion for short peri­ods of time, but I’m not entire­ly sure that I could do that right now.

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Recent Reading

I’ve fall­en out of the prac­tice of writ­ing book reviews, for some rea­son. There are two lit­tle wid­gets there to the side of the blog that always show the cov­ers of the books I’m cur­rent­ly read­ing and some of those that I’ve recent­ly read, though.

Yes, I do keep that many books going at once, because I keep one ebook in progress each on my Nook, phone and iPad in addi­tion to an audio­book and a dead-tree book or two. I real­ly hate being with­out read­ing mate­r­i­al, so that way I know I’ve always got some­thing good at hand. The book on the Nook is pret­ty much always fic­tion, while the oth­ers are usu­al­ly non-fic­tion.

The most note­wor­thy of my recent fin­ish­es is Reamde, by Neal Stephen­son (one of my favorite authors). No, I did­n’t mis­spell the title, but the spelling is an impor­tant plot point. Those who enjoyed Crypto­nom­i­con are espe­cial­ly like­ly to enjoy this one. I rec­om­mend it to every­body, though, includ­ing those who think they don’t like sci­ence fic­tion.

I’m con­tin­u­ing to slog my way through George R.R. Mar­tin’s Song of Ice and Fire, recent­ly fin­ish­ing A Storm of Swords and imme­di­ate­ly pick­ing up A Feast for Crows. Read­ing the books while watch­ing A Game of Thrones has been inter­est­ing, as it brings the changes into sharp focus.

The book I’ve been read­ing on my phone for quite a few months (I sel­dom have rea­son to read on that) is Michael Sher­mer’s The Believ­ing Brain: From Ghosts and Gods to Pol­i­tics and Conspiracies—How We Con­struct Beliefs and Rein­force Them as Truths. It is inter­est­ing mate­r­i­al but writ­ten in an exces­sive­ly dry man­ner, and I’m start­ing to think that per­haps I should have cho­sen to lis­ten to it as an audio­book.

My iPad read­ing is rel­a­tive­ly new, Hap­pi­er: Learn the Secrets to Dai­ly Joy and Last­ing Ful­fill­ment by Tal Ben-Sha­har. While Ben-Sha­har isn’t as well-known in pop­u­lar cir­cles as some oth­er authors, his work is inte­gral to pos­i­tive psy­chol­o­gy and the study of hap­pi­ness as a phe­nom­e­non.

I find it peace­ful to lis­ten to audio­books while stitch­ing. My cur­rent audio­book is Qui­et: The Pow­er of Intro­verts in a World That Can’t Stop Talk­ing by Susan Cain. I’m find­ing it so rich that I keep hav­ing to go back and lis­ten to bits over again, or pause the record­ing to reflect. I strong­ly rec­om­mend this one to absolute­ly any intro­vert or any­one who deals with intro­verts (that means every­body). I may well write an entire post about the sub­jects it brings up lat­er.

My main print book is Polyamory in the 21st Cen­tu­ry: Love and Inti­ma­cy with Mul­ti­ple Part­ners by Deb­o­rah Anapol. I owe thanks to Uncle Ron for loan­ing me his copy of this one, but I real­ly need to get my own copy. More thoughts on this lat­er, as well.

My sec­ond print book, which I intend to review for Fibrant Liv­ing, is The Fibromyal­gia Den­tal Hand­book: A Prac­ti­cal Guide to main­tain­ing Peak Den­tal Health by Flo­ra Parsa Stay.

With all the dark­ness and the huge size of the Mar­tin books, I’m start­ing to crave some light read­ing, so I’m seri­ous­ly con­sid­er­ing putting Feast on hold for some­thing fluffy. I don’t think there’s any­thing incred­i­bly fluffy in the Nook, but I’m sure I’ll find some­thing before too long, even if I have to stoop to a light beach romance or the like. There’s only so much death, doom, and despair one woman can stand!

What are you read­ing? What do you sug­gest I read?

Broken Bones

Plinky asked, “Have you ever bro­ken a bone?”

Gs cast

Not a full break, but I’ve had a hair­line frac­ture in my left elbow and right fore­arm. I remem­ber trip­ping and falling down steps at some­one’s wed­ding and crack­ing the elbow, but I no longer recall how I hurt the fore­arm.

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Defining Love

Plinky asked, “If you even­tu­al­ly break up with some­one, was it ever true love?”

Divorce and Chil­dren

What sort of sil­ly ques­tion is that? If a per­son dies, was he tru­ly alive?

Yes, rela­tion­ships based on true love some­times end. That does­n’t mean that they are fail­ures, any more than lives that end are fail­ures. The “hap­pi­ly ever after” thing is for fairy tales, and the idea of “one true love” should stay there as well.

It’s clear that most peo­ple are only pay­ing lip ser­vice to monogamy now by prac­tic­ing ser­i­al monogamy, so I don’t see why these out­dat­ed ideas hang on to cause mis­ery for so many.

I have been in many rela­tion­ships. I have loved each of those peo­ple. I don’t con­sid­er any of those rela­tion­ships fail­ures, nor do I doubt that I loved those peo­ple sim­ply because we are no longer togeth­er and don’t feel the same way about each oth­er now. I feel some affec­tion, at the very least, towards most of them, and more for some of them. That does­n’t both­er me at all, as a polyamorous per­son. It does­n’t set up any sort of con­flict. I’m not going to act on those feel­ings, because there were valid rea­sons for the end of each rela­tion­ship — but where there was deep love, there’s always some­thing left.

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Recent Finishes

I’ve been stitch­ing away late­ly, and while I can’t talk about my most recent project yet, I did add my most recent two fin­ish­es to my long-neglect­ed Fin­ished Works page today. The first piece is a for-no-rea­son one, the sec­ond a baby gift which was also my first coop­er­a­tive project (and a big suc­cess).

I’m cur­rent­ly work­ing on a Moth­er’s Day gift (why yes, I’m late get­ting it fin­ished), the hymn “ ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus.”

What are you work­ing on?