Enemy of Entropy

The interview we did is up!
Chronic Pain and Sex: a Couple’s Gentle Battle With Fibromyalgia

I’m pleased with it. There are very few, mostly immaterial inaccuracies.

I have a Google Alerts search going for “fibromyalgia,” because if there’s something out there that will make this crap better, I want to know it yesterday. The alert brings in all sorts of nonsense from quack remedies to naysayers, in addition to the actual content.

Today’s alert takes the cake, though. Somebody wrote to Dan Savage’s Savage Love column asking, “Can I Sue Somebody for Fisting-Induced Fibromyalgia?”¹

Savage’s medical expert is out of touch regarding the latest FMS research, but I have to agree with his reply to the letter-writer.

Sam and I tried to game a little tonight, but he was sleepy and I’m fading, too. I did some writing today, and more webifying, and worked on a couple of school assignments. Then I got all-too-obsessed with trying to figure out how to make the output of a couple of WordPress plugins work nicely with my template.

I hope y’all had a lovely weekend!

From today’s Delancey Place newsletter:

In the terrain of the human heart, scientists tell us, at least three independent but interrelated brain systems are at play, all moving us in their own way. To untangle love’s mysteries, neuroscience distinguishes between neural networks for attachment, for caregiving, and for sex. Each is fueled by a differing set of brain chemicals and hormones, and each runs through a disparate neuronal circuit. Each adds its own chemical spice to the many varieties of love.

Attachment determines who we turn to for succor; these are the people we miss the most when they are absent. Caregiving gives us the urge to nurture the people for whom we feel most concern. When we are attached, we cling; when we are caregiving we provide. And sex is, well, sex. …

The forces of affection that bind us to each other preceded the rise of the rational brain. Love’s reasons have always been subcortical, though love’s
execution may require careful plotting. … The three major systems for loving—attachment, caregiving, and sexuality—all follow their own complex rules. At a given moment any one of these three can be ascendant—say, as a couple feels a warm togetherness, or when they cuddle their own baby, or while they make love. When all three of these love systems are operating, they feed romance at its richest: a relaxed, affectionate, and sensual connection where rapport blossoms. …

Neuroscientist Jaak Pansepp…finds a neural corollary between the dynamics of opiate addiction and the dependence on the people for whom we feel our strongest attachments. All positive interactions with people, he proposes, owe [at least] part of their pleasure to the opioid system, the very circuitry that links with heroin and other addictive substances. … Even animals, he finds, prefer to spend time with those in whose presence they have secreted oxytocin and natural opioids, which induce a relaxed serenity—suggesting that these brain chemicals cement our family ties and friendships as well as our love relationships.

Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships, Bantam, © 2006 by Daniel Goleman, pp. 18

Definitely a book that I intend to read! I found Emotional Intelligence quite good, but had somehow missed this newer book.

I strongly recommend the newsletter, which brings interesting excerpts from an incredible variety of books to your mailbox every day.

What do you think? Is it all about the opiates? Do you have, or have you had, a romance in which all three systems were go?

I honestly didn’t think Laurell K. Hamilton had it in her, but A Lick of Frost moved me to tears in spots. She managed real romance. I don’t even like reading romances, and I really hate crying, but I couldn’t help it. I even found a quote to keep.

I don’t want to give out any spoilers, especially since it’s quite new, but this novel could reasonably be seen as the end to the Merry Gentry series. I believe Hamilton will write at least one more book, to tie up some details and bring the series to seven volumes. All of the volumes have been fairly slender, and Hamilton is a guaranteed cash cow, so who knows how many books there will actually be? I could, however, stop reading now.

This series is not one to start if, like me, you don’t like waiting for another book in order to know “what happens next.” Generally, I try to wait until a series is finished before I begin to read it, in case it isn’t ever finished. I detest cliffhangers, most especially, and Hamilton has indulged in several.

Unlike most, the Merry Gentry series is good enough that I keep reading despite my personal preference. I’ve never lost track of any important details between books, which is also striking. I’d actually like to have copies of this series to keep, as I might re-read them. In contrast, I stopped buying the Anita Blake books years ago, although I would consider picking up used paperbacks to accompany those I already own just because Katie has expressed interest in them.

Sam is totally disinterested in just about anything having to do with vampires, werewolves, or anything else that is too similar to World of Darkness. I think it’s a reaction to having been so immersed in research and development when he worked for White Wolf, but I’ll leave him to explain it if we wishes. He does tend to scoff at anything too far off the “canon,” as it were.

Since he was involved in Changeling (his favorite), I would have thought the same applied to urban fantasy concerning faery. That’s true, usually, but he’s been drawn into the Merry Gentry books once or twice, and that’s saying something (if only for the quality of some sex scenes).

I know that one reason the Blake series has gotten so tiresome is that sex has taken them over, but Hamilton’s attempts to make the sex part of the plot fall flat. An even bigger one is Anita’s angst over the species and numbers of her loves and sex partners. While she occasionally mentions her religious upbringing as justification, as an animator (one who raises zombies) she left the safety of the Catholic church behind years ago. One could argue that its theology left reality behind, but in any case, her life is permeated by and depends on magic that is bound up in religion, but her overt religious beliefs no longer match her reality or how she’s truly living.

I don’t even like to include the books in that short list of those that truly deal with polyamory, due to the fact that Anita has been so guilt-ridden and unhappy (until the last book or two), while continuing to follow her crotch (okay, the magic, if you believe Hamilton, but seriously…).

Meredith Gentry never has that problem. It is unfortunate that Hamilton has to reach into an imaginary culture to depict people who are comfortable with their sexuality, including multiple sexual partners, but at least she has done so. There is still an annoying “I must pick only one!” theme, but it is made clear that Merry is being forced into such a choice by relatively recent Sidhe custom—not her heart or her conscience. She repeatedly stresses, in her interactions with humans, that she has absolutely no shame about her lifestyle, and that the Sidhe have very different ideas about such things than humans do.

I especially appreciate the repeated theme of accepting diversity and appreciating beauty in everyone. “Everyone” never goes to far as to including, for instance, fat people, but there don’t seem to be any of those in fairy. Her lovers are all terribly beautiful, even the half-Goblin and half-Sluagh, but she expressly does not reject those who are scarred or “different” because of their heritage or experiences. There is overmuch attention to description of appearances for my tastes, especially details of every character’s clothing, but that seems to be all too common in anything with any focus on relationships these days (or I’m just noticing it more—was it always there?)

While there’s still a lot of sex, the reasons for the abundance of sex and variety of partners has been integrated into the Gentry plot from square one. Despite that, it doesn’t feel like the sex scenes take over the books. Anyone with the least bit of prudery should still stay away from the series completely, of course, but that’s made clear on the covers and in the excerpts on the book flaps. Nobody who has ever picked up a Laurell K. Hamilton book in the last five years, at least, has any excuse for claiming naÏveté if he finds the content too racy!

From Planned Parenthood of Georgia:

Free EC! December 6, 2006!

We’re celebrating increased access to emergency contraception (EC)!

EC can safely and effectively prevent pregnancy if started within five days of unprotected sex. Everyone, regardless of age, can get EC at Planned Parenthood - and now, for people 18 and older, EC is available over the counter. Stop by one of our five Georgia health centers on December 6, 2006, and receive FREE EC (one per person) to keep at home - just in case.

Planned Parenthood of Georgia, Inc.
Atlanta ~ Lilburn ~ Marietta ~ Augusta ~ Savannah

1-800-230-PLAN

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http://www.ppaction.org/join-forward.html?domain=ppga&r=x11er3n1SSQw

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