Our DFCS Experience

You know, I kept mean­ing to write about this and for­get­ting to actu­al­ly do it.

Way back on May 7 of 2003, I was very sur­prised to get a call from a social work­er at the Depart­ment of Fam­i­ly & Chil­dren’s Ser­vices (DFCS). While we have for years lived with fre­quent threats of “If you don’t (what­ev­er) I’ll call DFCS on you!” I always fig­ured that if a report were made, we’d know because of an in-per­son vis­it from a social worker.

In any case, the nice lady said that, yes, a report had been filed. No, she could­n’t tell me any­thing about it. I invit­ed her to come to vis­it imme­di­ate­ly. Instead, she asked when we could come to her office for an inter­view. I want­ed to know what was going on as soon as pos­si­ble, of course, so we made an appoint­ment for the fol­low­ing evening.

We arrived with the entire fam­i­ly, as request­ed. The lady asked to speak with just me and Sam, to begin with. She said that some­one had called DFCS on March 7 claim­ing that
1) We were force-feed­ing the kids—holding them down and shov­ing food down their throats.
2) We were also starv­ing the kids, and the only way they could eat was to hide food in their bedrooms.
3) Because of #2, we’d locked the chil­dren out of their bed­rooms for the last 4–5 months.
4) We killed the chil­dren’s dog.
5) We had “a woman named Jen and her three kids” liv­ing with us.
6) Our 3 home­schooled kids were total­ly iso­lat­ed social­ly and not allowed out­side contact.
7) We’re polygamous.
8) I was sui­ci­dal, so I forced the kids to take psy­chi­atric med­ica­tions they did­n’t need.

There was more, but I can’t remem­ber it all now. Those are details I’d not­ed in an email to a friend.

I haven’t fig­ured out how we could do some of those things—I mean, not even in advanced evil step­moth­er train­ing have I learned how to both starve and force-feed the same chil­dren! Also, Sam and I aren’t even mar­ried to each other—how many peo­ple were they think­ing we were mar­ried to?

We told her right up front that we are not a typ­i­cal fam­i­ly. Sam and I are not mar­ried. We told her that we’re polyamorous and have dat­ed anoth­er cou­ple with­in the last six months. We told her that we are pagans and that we home­school Katie and would be home­school­ing the oth­er two kids if we could. We also told her that we were in the mid­dle of a cus­tody bat­tle, and gave her the name and num­bers for Rowan and Genevieve’s Guardian ad Litem and the social work­er who worked with Genevieve while she was hos­pi­tal­ized. We explained the cir­cum­stances of that hos­pi­tal­iza­tion, of course. She did­n’t care about the dog, but we did explain that we’d found a new home for the dog because Rowan and Genevieve had refused to coop­er­ate in her care as promised (a con­se­quence that was set up before we got the dog).

She asked us ques­tions, which we answered ful­ly. She asked us for references—we gave her names and num­bers for just about every­body. Friends, fam­i­ly mem­bers, our ther­a­pist, min­is­ter, the kids’ teach­ers, you name it. Yes, some of you were on that list. I don’t know if she con­tact­ed any of you. We gave her far more infor­ma­tion than she want­ed, in fact—I guess it might have been a formality.

Then we left, and she talked to the kids for less than 15 min­utes. She asked them about the alle­ga­tions in the report, and Rowan and Genevieve were sim­ply so flab­ber­gast­ed that they just stared at her at first. All three kids said that no, none of those things were true. She gave the chil­dren the oppor­tu­ni­ty to speak with her pri­vate­ly, but none took her up on that offer. She asked if there were oth­er prob­lems, and all three chil­dren said that there were none and that they were hap­py and healthy.

In order to close the file, the social work­er need­ed to sched­ule a home vis­it. I want­ed that out of the way as soon as pos­si­ble, too. We told her that we were pack­ing to move, so the house was very chaot­ic, but she was wel­come to come on over that very night. The ear­li­est she could sched­ule us was the fol­low­ing Mon­day evening (we were meet­ing with her on Thursday).

The house was actu­al­ly even more chaot­ic by the time she arrived on Mon­day, but we fig­ured it would be sil­ly to try to hide the nor­mal busi­ness of mov­ing. We gave her a tour of the house, she said hel­lo to the kids, and she left. We gave her our new address as soon as we got it.

Some­time in June, we got a let­ter from the social work­er say­ing that the case had been closed due to find­ing no prob­lems with us, the kids, our home, etc. 

So, just for the record—DFCS, at least, does­n’t think we’re doing any­thing wrong at all. I’m quite hap­py to find that out. Hell, I had pre­vi­ous­ly said that I wished I could just request an “audit” from them to make sure there was­n’t any­thing wrong, con­sid­er­ing the recur­ring threats from that sil­ly person.

And that’s despite being open­ly queer, pagan, polyamorous home­school­ers “liv­ing in sin” in the Bible Belt.

I was­n’t ter­ri­bly wor­ried about ever hav­ing to deal with DFCS before, but I feel even bet­ter now.

Cur­rent Mood: 🙂relaxed
Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
Posts created 4241

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top