Katie’s Home! & Humor

Woo hoo! I’ve got my Katie back! And her team won their race in the horse show 🙂

And now for silli­ness, cour­tesy of star­rchilde
So, I’m stand­ing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car­load of well-mean­ing, Bible-thump­ing nut cas­es that are just fran­tic! The mid­dle-aged pro­fes­sion­al­ly dressed woman rush­es forward…She takes my arm and with a trem­bling voice, she asks…“Have you found Jesus?”

Her eyes plead with an urgency that is out of pro­por­tion to a bus stop. Now, nor­mal­ly I just polite­ly decline the ser­mon and free reli­gious paper­work that such folk pawn off on unsus­pect­ing bystanders. But, unfor­tu­nate­ly for her, she is the fourth car to accost me in the last 9 min­utes. So by now, I’m begin­ning to won­der what the heck is wrong with these peo­ple. I mean if it’s not Chris­tians, it is the Jeho­vah’s Wit­ness­es. Can a sim­ple Druidess get no peace?

So calm­ly as I can muster, with­out being sar­cas­tic, I reply, “You peo­ple lost him, again??”

The woman looks con­fused. This is not the response she was hop­ing for and she needs to regroup. She takes a deep breath intend­ing to launch into her sales pitch for her God and church, pay­ing no heed to the con­cept that I might not be into being con­vert­ed. I decide to not let her get going so I launch into a speech of my own.

“What is wrong with you Chris­tians? Every time I turn around you’ve lost Him!” I hit her with a glare of accu­sa­tion. “I mean real­ly…” I take a mea­sured breath. “How do you expect to have any­one fol­low a deity that you can’t even find!”

The poor woman looks stunned. This isn’t going so well. Pan­icked she looks des­per­ate­ly to the car… Sure­ly one of the men can help… Undaunt­ed I press on… “Maybe the prob­lem is with you peo­ple. I mean Mus­lims nev­er seem to loose their deity. Come to think of it nei­ther do Jews or Pagans of any kind.” 

I look at the man get­ting out of the car. He’s all smiles. 

“I real­ize you peo­ple used to burn peo­ple like me at the stake. What was that about…deity even? I may be a Pagan-hea­then, but I have nev­er ever woke up pan­icked that I could­n’t find my God­dess or God. They are always right where they should be… In the fire of my can­dle, in the air that I breathe, in the earth that I stand on, in the water of my spring. I nev­er feel aban­doned by my deity(ies). Of course, you Chris­tians aren’t much fun,” I con­tin­ue. By now they are all out of the car. Befud­dled, aghast, and at a loss for words. 

“Of course,” I offer to try to give them some defense for los­ing Jesus. “He could have left due to reli­gious dif­fer­ences. If I remem­ber cor­rect­ly, He was Jew­ish. So if you are real­ly so eager to find him,” I smile gen­tly to soft­en the blow, “Check the near­est syn­a­gogue. He’s prob­a­bly in there. Also you folks should try and remem­ber that this is Amer­i­ca… Where free­dom of reli­gion means ALL religions.”

Slow­ly they climb back into their car and dri­ve away. I stand at the bus stop… No pam­phlets, no Bible, no dog­ma. I haven’t found Jesus, but I haven’t lost him either 🙂

Oh, and if you’ve found Jesus, please get his face on the evening news A.SA.P so the Chris­tians can stop look­ing for him.
–Author Unknown