Inner Child Stuff

My tarot.com dai­ly horo­scope said:
You are ener­gized to do some­thing fun now. You feel freer than you have in a while and you want to push out the edges of your play­ful spir­it in a way that has recent­ly been unavail­able. Don’t spend too much time try­ing to fig­ure out what any of this means. Just give your­self per­mis­sion to play.

I find that very inter­est­ing, as I start­ed doing one of the Artist’s Way exer­cis­es this morn­ing and, quite sim­ply, could­n’t. I was to think back to being a child and write about my favorite toy, favorite game, and the best movie I saw as a child. I got stuck there because I can’t name a thing. I have very clear mem­o­ries of my child­hood back to an extreme­ly young age, but I don’t remem­ber hav­ing a favorite toy or game. I’ve told Sam that I “was­n’t good at being a child” and still am not good at “play­ing.” I took care of my lit­tle sis­ter. That was my child­hood, for the most part.

I’m learn­ing how to play, and Sam has been a won­der­ful exam­ple. I enjoy col­or­ing. I like puz­zles, but don’t have a place to do them very well. I’m not into toys so much. I like play­ing Mahjongg on my PC, but I only allow myself to do it when I’m on hold on the phone or some­thing like that. Sam has brought me into the world of role­play­ing games, and I enjoy them because they aren’t com­pet­i­tive. Most board games are, though, and I dis­like competition.

I think I’ll be look­ing for a toy, though. Some­thing. For Cindy.