Things I didn’t think I needed to say—add this to the Clues for Interacting With Me list:
It won’t surprise anyone familiar with me that there are people who I absolutely do not like, approve of, accept, or want to be around. Some of those are people I haven’t even met in person, and I honestly don’t intend to meet them in the flesh if I can manage to avoid it.
What is apparently less clear is that I don’t ever want those people in my home, even for a few minutes. Period. For any reason.
I realize that there are many people who have less stringent standards regarding who they allow in their homes. I was that way at one time. I have since, however, realized that a major part of taking care of myself (and of my family) is making “home” a haven. It is supposed to be an absolutely safe space, where we don’t have to deal with some of the nastiness that’s in the world Out There.
That’s why I do not hesitate to issue Invitations To The World if someone is an asshole—or just isn’t pleasant company. I don’t care how old or young that human is, if I find his or her presence grating, he or she doesn’t belong in my home. Ever. Even for a few minutes.
One of the ways in which sambear and I are so very well suited to each other is the fact that he wholly agrees with me in this practice.
I realize that people I love have different standards, and some of you associate with people who you know I find distasteful, at the very least. And that’s fine—anywhere but here.
If you’ve told me something about someone that portrays that person as a harmful, dishonest, or dishonorable person, do not be surprised when I won’t “give them a chance” if you choose to continue to associate with him or her. Unless you say “Well, I lied” I have no reason to think that he or she suddenly got nicer. If you lied to me about him or her, we probably won’t have a relationship to speak of anymore, anyway.
I think it would be extremely obvious that if I consider a person dishonorable or downright dangerous, I would not ever want that person in my home.
Apparently, it isn’t that obvious. So here ya go, an Officious Proclamation. If you happen to know that I consider someone a less than sterling example of beautiful humanity, don’t bring that person to my home. In fact, if you are coming to my home and are accompanied by someone I have not specifically invited here, tell me. I’ll tell you if I don’t want him or her here, and we’ll work it out.