Don’t Bring Random Assholes to My House

Things I did­n’t think I need­ed to say—add this to the Clues for Inter­act­ing With Me list:

It won’t sur­prise any­one famil­iar with me that there are peo­ple who I absolute­ly do not like, approve of, accept, or want to be around. Some of those are peo­ple I haven’t even met in per­son, and I hon­est­ly don’t intend to meet them in the flesh if I can man­age to avoid it.

What is appar­ent­ly less clear is that I don’t ever want those peo­ple in my home, even for a few min­utes. Peri­od. For any reason.

I real­ize that there are many peo­ple who have less strin­gent stan­dards regard­ing who they allow in their homes. I was that way at one time. I have since, how­ev­er, real­ized that a major part of tak­ing care of myself (and of my fam­i­ly) is mak­ing “home” a haven. It is sup­posed to be an absolute­ly safe space, where we don’t have to deal with some of the nas­ti­ness that’s in the world Out There.

That’s why I do not hes­i­tate to issue Invi­ta­tions To The World if some­one is an asshole—or just isn’t pleas­ant com­pa­ny. I don’t care how old or young that human is, if I find his or her pres­ence grat­ing, he or she does­n’t belong in my home. Ever. Even for a few minutes.

One of the ways in which sam­bear and I are so very well suit­ed to each oth­er is the fact that he whol­ly agrees with me in this practice.

I real­ize that peo­ple I love have dif­fer­ent stan­dards, and some of you asso­ciate with peo­ple who you know I find dis­taste­ful, at the very least. And that’s fine—anywhere but here.

If you’ve told me some­thing about some­one that por­trays that per­son as a harm­ful, dis­hon­est, or dis­hon­or­able per­son, do not be sur­prised when I won’t “give them a chance” if you choose to con­tin­ue to asso­ciate with him or her. Unless you say “Well, I lied” I have no rea­son to think that he or she sud­den­ly got nicer. If you lied to me about him or her, we prob­a­bly won’t have a rela­tion­ship to speak of any­more, anyway.

I think it would be extreme­ly obvi­ous that if I con­sid­er a per­son dis­hon­or­able or down­right dan­ger­ous, I would not ever want that per­son in my home.

Appar­ent­ly, it isn’t that obvi­ous. So here ya go, an Offi­cious Procla­ma­tion. If you hap­pen to know that I con­sid­er some­one a less than ster­ling exam­ple of beau­ti­ful human­i­ty, don’t bring that per­son to my home. In fact, if you are com­ing to my home and are accom­pa­nied by some­one I have not specif­i­cal­ly invit­ed here, tell me. I’ll tell you if I don’t want him or her here, and we’ll work it out.

Thank you.

Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
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