Rules of Engagement With Cyn

1) If I don’t want to chat right now, online or by phone, it does­n’t sig­nal some kind of prob­lem between us unless I say that it’s because of some prob­lem. I’m an intro­vert, remem­ber? And there are times (lots of them) when I just don’t want to talk to any­one. I’m not one for talk­ing just to talk, anyway.

2) Please don’t read hid­den mes­sages into my words or actions. That’s not how I com­mu­ni­cate. Really.

3) If there’s some­thing you want to tell me, use words. Not only do I not send hid­den mes­sages, but I also don’t read them very well. No, that is not a Girl Thing. Or maybe I’m just not much of a Girl.

4) I have a chron­ic dis­ease. I hate it. I don’t have as much ener­gy as I should. I’m always in pain, and some­times the pain gets to a lev­el that I can­not han­dle. Being in pain and tired is some­thing I can­not, in all hon­esty, help. I do not use it as an excuse to avoid things I sim­ply don’t want to do. If I can­not do some­thing with you because of pain or fatigue, it isn’t because I don’t love you, find you good com­pa­ny, or I’m not inter­est­ed in what­ev­er it was that we were going to do together.

5) I do not have a good rela­tion­ship with food. I don’t even like to eat in front of peo­ple, generally—if I con­sume any­thing in your pres­ence, I must feel pret­ty damned com­fort­able with you. It is chem­i­cal fuel, and some­times it is a com­fort, but I’m not capa­ble of being pas­sion­ate about food in gen­er­al. I’m sor­ry. I’m not reject­ing the love you put into the prepa­ra­tion of the food.

6) I assume that peo­ple mean what they say. If you tell me to go away, I will. If you say you hate me, we don’t have a rela­tion­ship of any kind, peri­od. Yes, that includes things said, “in the heat of the moment.” If you can’t con­trol your tongue when you’re real­ly angry, learn—because I do take what­ev­er you say to be the truth.

7) Don’t ever be dis­hon­est with me, even if it seems like a real­ly minor thing. No, it will not be okay. Yes, it will dam­age the trust between us, and there’s no guar­an­tee that it will be reparable.

8) This should go with­out say­ing, but past expe­ri­ence says that it needs to be said. Don’t yell at me. Don’t try to back me into an enclosed space. Don’t ever even think about lay­ing hands on me in a less-than-gen­tle man­ner, much less hit­ting me. Don’t throw any­thing at me. Don’t use ver­bal threats with me, or even inti­ma­tions of them. Yes, I take them seri­ous­ly, and I have zero tol­er­ance for them.