Should You WHAT?

Okay, I fin­ished the book. One of the last chap­ters is enti­tled “Should you ever become involved with a sex­u­al offend­er?” There’s a case study of a moth­er who has start­ed dat­ing some­one and then he tells her that he’s a sex offend­er and in a treat­ment program.

My imme­di­ate answer to the chap­ter title, of course, is HELL NO! I can­not believe that ANY par­ent would even con­sid­er get­ting involved with some­one who is known to have abused a child in the past.

I don’t under­stand peo­ple who get involved (or stay) in rela­tion­ships with peo­ple who have been abu­sive to them or oth­ers in any way in the past. But hey—that’s an adult mak­ing a choice for him/herself.

But when you’re talk­ing about your kids? No. Absolute­ly not. Your pri­ma­ry job as a par­ent is to pro­tect and raise those kids. Mak­ing a choice like dat­ing a known sex­u­al offend­er is just too much.

I think that one chap­ter got to me more than any­thing else in the entire book. And no, the author was­n’t in favor of dat­ing sex­u­al offenders—she was very bal­anced about the kinds of things you’d need to con­sid­er, for­ev­er. Like the ongo­ing social, legal, and emo­tion­al con­cerns that would be present even if the offend­er is tru­ly reformed.

Maybe it’s the fact that I am a sur­vivor of child­hood sex­u­al abuse, but I don’t believe in giv­ing any­body who does that kind of thing any chance. None.