How do you feel when you return home at the end of the day?

fractured reality/grace under pain

The NaBloPo­Mo prompt for today:
How do you feel when you return home at the end of the day?

I’m not sure I should have answered this one, as I doubt that my answer will be in sync with the intent of the ques­tion. I don’t leave home every day to go to work, or leave home every day, period.

How­ev­er, when I do leave home, how I feel when I return depends on many fac­tors. How did I feel before leav­ing? How long was I gone, and how much phys­i­cal, intel­lec­tu­al, and emo­tion­al ener­gy did I have to expend while I was out? Did I have to deal with any­thing unex­pect­ed, good or bad? How many peo­ple was I around? Were they strangers or peo­ple known to me? Did I encounter them all at once, or in small groups of one or two at a time? Was Sam with me as a buffer? How’s my blood sug­ar? Am I well hydrat­ed? What was the weath­er like? Did I remem­ber to take my reg­u­lar med­ica­tions? What about tak­ing break­through pain med­ica­tion, anx­i­ety med­ica­tion, or a mus­cle relax­ant before I found myself in a state where they would­n’t work very well? Did I use my scoot­er if there was much walk­ing? How noisy was the envi­ron­ment? Was it drafty, over­ly hot or cold? Did I have to dri­ve? Was I out to do some­thing I want­ed to do, or was I doing some­thing I had to do?

Fre­quent­ly, I’m so dog-tired that I can bare­ly drag myself in the door. I have actu­al­ly fall­en asleep sit­ting in the car, in the dri­ver’s seat, more than once. (There are plen­ty of rea­sons that I do not dri­ve much any­more.) Deal­ing with the secu­ri­ty sys­tem seems an intel­lec­tu­al chal­lenge designed for Ein­stein. I’m eas­i­ly con­fused and my mem­o­ry is beyond poor. Even if I am dehy­drat­ed or I need to eat, I’m too tired to be inter­est­ed in food or even water. If I was out for too long, or if it was a par­tic­u­lar­ly stress­ful peri­od, I get a fever and my body reacts as if I’m in shock. I feel like I’m freez­ing, no mat­ter what the actu­al tem­per­a­ture around me is, and I start shak­ing badly.

So that’s how I feel most days when I return home at the end of the day if I’ve had to leave home. I think that should go a long way towards explain­ing why I’m such a home­body these days! I am for­tu­nate in that I have Sam, Katie, and oth­ers in my life, so I am able to have a ful­fill­ing life with­out being very adventurous.

Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
Posts created 4259

2 thoughts on “How do you feel when you return home at the end of the day?

  1. Thanks for this… when I come in the door after work I am hor­ri­fied by the state of my home (fibro means that I have to con­cen­trate on doing what it takes to ensure my home isn’t closed for health vio­la­tions). If only I could make it what every­one says it should be… a refuge… but hav­ing a full time job, a 70 year old hus­band with arthri­tis, a 4 hour a day round trip com­mute to a high stress job in Boston, a dog, a cat, and two guinea pigs… means I don’t make much progress! Just took the dog to the state park for a walk on a love­ly fall day, but trade­offs mean I’ll hang in and make sup­per for my hus­band, then go to bed. That’s my day. For some rea­son, I think you can relate!

    Love the NaBloPo­Mo prompts, maybe I will use them to get me writ­ing. And the image with this post real­ly com­mu­ni­cat­ed the pain of hav­ing fibro. Thank you.

  2. Nice to see you here! 

    I def­i­nite­ly under­stand. I’d freak out if any­body but fam­i­ly were to vis­it here right now. Prob­a­bly just lay right down and die! And I don’t work. 

    A four hour com­mute? That’s like hav­ing a sec­ond job!

    A cou­ple of my recent posts aren’t show­ing, so I need to trou­bleshoot them.

    The image is incred­i­ble. I found it on Flickr, and am def­i­nite­ly watch­ing that artist, who is very talented.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top