Waaahhhh! We’re out of the salad dressing I like. The spinach is just old enough that it isn’t very appetizing without dressing, and the dressing curiousmay9 prefers is heavier than I like. Must pick up some raspberry vinaigrette next time I’m out.
Anyway, the salad is something of a supper substitute. Maybe an early appetizer. I’m really working on developing healthier habits in my life, and eating regularly is one of them. I’m not hungry enough to eat anything heavier than a salad, but that’s enough for me to take my meds on time.
Anyway, this is about the fact that, no, I’m not just changing how I interact online. There’s a lot more going on to realign how I actually spend my time and energy with my priorities.
The person I want to be is healthier, more independent, and more organized. Her life is balanced. She can take care of her responsibilities and herself, and still have time for fun and social activities.
What follows is, to a large extent, me writing down my plan for my own purposes. Part of the reason I’m putting this out there publicly is for accountability. If I’m screwing up and not sticking to my priorities, some of you are people who will kick my butt back onto the path. I’ll thank you for it, though I acknowledge that lack of sainthood means I’m likely to be a bit grumpy/guilty/bratty at first.
Health
It’s no secret that I’m not physically healthy. (BTW, I got the next huge packet of papers for the disability process in the mail from Social Security today. Oh joy!) Yes, some of that is due to chronic diseases that won’t go away. BUT—I’m convinced that I CAN do things that will help me to feel and function better. It’s my responsibility to change what I can, rather than just whinging about what I can’t change.
I’m focusing more on being healthy than losing weight. I don’t want to get more disabled. I hate that word! If possible, I want to be more functional, less impaired, more “me” than I am with my body screwed up.
Unfortunately, hating my body isn’t helping at all. I have to change that.
One of my health goals is to be able to dance without getting winded. That means getting through an hour-long dance class, at the very least. I miss dancing. I will do it again. I did social (“ballroom”) dance in the distant path, and absolutely loved it. I’ve actually spoken to a belly dance teacher near me recently. That class might be a nice reward for me.
Another goal is to be able to survive taking a full course load at school, making good grades, and keeping the rest of my life in balance without a physical collapse. I don’t want to spend forever getting my BA!
Eating
I’ve managed the “recommended” 2-4 servings of fruits a day, and am working on the 3-5 vegetables. This is a first in my life. That’s the whole 37 years of it. Yes, my digestive system is in shock. I’m still working on finding vegetables that I like, other than a spinach salad.
I still need to increase my intake of complex carbohydrates and meats. I’m fine on dairy, in fact, I could stand less dairy most days.
curiousmay9 is a HUGE help in making these changes. She’s been doing the same thing for several years now, and the difference really shows. She doesn’t nag, understands that I have a bad relationship with food, and is very supportive and encouraging. Thank you, hon!
I’m looking at doing Weight Watchers again. Like, I even looked up the nearest meeting place and the times that would work for me. I find myself resenting the $10/meeting (student price), but they do have a very good program. They help me to know what’s “normal,” which is really important to someone prone to eating disorders.
Exercise
Early each morning, I have a good stretching session. That’s followed by a walk with sambear and Karli.
After daily walking and stretching are well and truly established as a habit and my body stops freaking out, I’ll see about going to the Y three times a week for water aerobics.
Medicine
I set up my medicine box, which I’ve neglected lately. So far, I’ve actually taken my meds each day, mostly on time! It’s just too annoying to deal with getting everything out of a bunch of different bottles four times a day, otherwise.
I’m also noting on my calendar when I need to get refills of various meds. I’ve been very bad about running out of things, like the Armour Thyroid, and not getting back on it for a week or more. I know it isn’t healthy. I just hate taking the meds so much that I self-sabotage. I may have to ask sambear for help on that front.
Eating regularly goes hand-in-hand with taking my medicine properly since most of it is “take with food” stuff.
Health Care
I am horrible about canceling doctor’s appointments for myself. In fact, I missed one today. I always feel guilty about the money. I must change that.
Miscellany
I was already pretty good about staying hydrated and had stopped drinking coffee every day. I’ll gradually reduce the caffeine more, but honestly, I don’t think it has that much of an effect on me. I largely use it when fighting a migraine.
I’m taking vitamins regularly again. I’ve been out of some important supplements, like glucosamine-chondroitin, for quite a while now. Good vitamins and supplements are expensive! So that’s on the list for “as soon as we can afford them,” but I can’t do it right now. I’ve been reading a lot about different treatments for fibromyalgia and would like to try some different supplements to see if they help at all.
Soul
sambear keeps reminding me that I’m not good about taking any time from the “must do” stuff for fun stuff, or for recharging. He’s right. I didn’t get to be a kid, really, and never learned to play until he started teaching me by example.
I haven’t figured out how to state a concrete purpose for this category. I will, though.
Writing
Not writing for a specific purpose, but a “brain dump” each morning to clear my mind. That’s one of the ways Julia Cameron refers to doing morning pages, which is my chosen method. I started Artist’s Way,1sambear found my copy of the book and journal! ga_sunshine, have you started yours? which is supposed to be a twelve-week process, well over a year ago. I stopped, and let that time be sucked up by, “But I NEED to do this!” (What Stephen Covey would call the urgent, rather than the important.)
One day this past week, I woke with a short story in my head. There was a sentence that had to be written just that way. I started writing before doing anything else, and by the time I realized hours had passed, I had just under 3000 words and it was mostly finished.
That was the first time that has happened in a very long time. I don’t consider myself a creative writer. That’s Sam’s thing. I do non-fiction. But I did have a story in me, and I took the time to write it.
Creating
Last night, I sat down for the first time in a year or more to stitch while we weren’t gaming. Sam was at work, so the rest of the family plus ridinrabbit and dracofrost had Chinese takeout and watched an Alias DVD. And I stitched. I left the PC in the bedroom turned off. I didn’t try to file anything or work on paperwork or assignments. Just stitching. It was calming, and I need to do that more often.
I need to go ahead and put the weekly Artist’s Dates on the calendar, or I won’t do them. They’re time to honor your inner child. I might go somewhere and color, do a puzzle or learn something new. In fact, I’m just remembering that there’s a beading shop near our old apartment that has an open workshop every Saturday. In any case, I need to leave and do something creative that I enjoy. I’m tempted to stay home to do something, but then it isn’t a date, is it? And I’m unlikely to actually use the time for myself if I’m here.
Music
Music is largely missing from my life right now. I must find an outlet for that. Katie wants to go back to piano lessons. Maybe I should?
Community
I still feel the loss of the UU congregation where Sam and I met. I want to be part of a spiritual group again. I haven’t found any pagan groups that are, um, normal?, enough for my tastes. So I’ve got the nearest congregation’s meeting times on the calendar. This weekend won’t work, but the following Sunday I’m going to the morning service.
Mind
Goal here. Hmm. That’s difficult, as my wishes would remove all the cognitive effects of fibromyalgia. I’m really quite good about feeding my mind a steady diet of information from various sources.
School
I want that degree, dammit. I will get it, and do it well. In fact, I think I’m going to law school after I get the BA.
I’ve set aside time in my daily schedule for academic assignments. I’ve never had good study habits. I was always able to just skate along up ’til college, keeping a 4.0 with no real effort. I can’t do that anymore, whether it’s because the courses are more difficult or my brain just doesn’t work as well.
What seems to work is doing my assignments while Katie is working on hers in the same room. That’s a habit that’s very much in progress.
I need to make time for being involved in some activities on-campus because if getting into grad school is anything like getting into college back when I was a freshman, they’re important. SPSU isn’t the greatest place for that, especially in the backwater that is my major department. There are things happening, though.
Other
There are, of course, lots of other parts of my life. Relationships, business stuff, homemaking, etc.—all of them deserve and get lots of my time and energy. I’ve been doing them without taking care of myself, and that’s what I’m changing.
If you’ve read this far, I’m amazed.
