Healing

I said this in a com­ment yesterday:
I work through things by writ­ing about them. I find that doing so with feed­back from oth­ers works best. And hell, the only way that any­thing good can come of this nas­ti­ness is for SOMEONE to learn from our mistakes.

It’s true.

Of course, there are times when I write some­thing, then don’t post it. Many, many times. Some­times the process of writ­ing it is enough. Some­times it is only shared with Sam or anoth­er per­son who is extreme­ly close to me.

And some­times, I need to put the words out into the world for all to see.

I shared far less when I sim­ply had my web­site, but I still shared things that shocked some peo­ple. It’s eas­i­er with LJ— espe­cial­ly eas­i­er to get feedback.

I think the “no secrets, put it all out there” is part of heal­ing from abuse. Abusers must have secre­cy in which to oper­ate. They thrive in it. Shine the bright light of truth and open­ness on an abuser and they scut­tle away like cock­roach­es sur­prised in the kitchen.

When I start­ed talk­ing about the abuse, it was very upset­ting to the fam­i­ly. It’s still some­thing they do not like. There’s a cul­ture of shame that blames the vic­tim, even if she was three years old. “Why you and not your sis­ter?” (Hell, I would­n’t count on it not being my sis­ter. That mon­ster hurt a LOT of chil­dren, male and female.) I’m sup­posed to be ashamed of what hap­pened, too embar­rassed to talk about it. Dear gods, I’m cer­tain­ly not sup­posed to name names!

Abusers love that. It helps them.

Heal­ing is a process. It’s a path, a spi­ral path. It comes round and round again. I can hope that some­day I’ll reach the shrine at the cen­ter, but the cen­ter isn’t the point. The point is to walk the labyrinth, to be aware and open to the expe­ri­ences along the way.

Cur­rent Mood: 🤔con­tem­pla­tive
Cyn is a proud Mommy & Mémé, professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
Posts created 4241

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top