Redhead Manual

Happy Birth­day waya!

Today’s quote:
Love thy neigh­bour as your­self, but choose your neighbourhood.
–Louise Beal

I’m swip­ing this from cybr­cat. rasilio and the rest of you for­tu­nate enough to have red­heads of your very own, pay attention!

First of all, con­grat­u­la­tions on your acqui­si­tion of a red­head! Fol­low these sim­ple steps to ensure safe­ty. May your user expe­ri­ence be an enjoy­able one! 

1. Pro­vide with qual­i­ty orgasms fre­quent­ly. Fail­ure to do so many result in out­right hostility. 

2. Keep out of direct sun­light unless SPF of 45 or greater is applied liberally. 

3. You like freck­les. Think of some­thing fun to say about them. Repeat as necessary. 

4. Should your red­head become unco­op­er­a­tive, repeat step one. 

5. Should step one fail, approach with gifts, apolo­gies, and per­haps a sweet alco­holic beverage. 

6. Take your red­head out to dance on tables and raise hell every now and then. Should you not be qual­i­fied, drop her off at a girl­friend’s house for this activity. 

7. Be excit­ing and cre­ative. Should you fail in this endeav­or, your red­head may become pouty and rest­less. If in doubt, refer direct­ly to step num­ber 1. 

8. Com­pli­ment fre­quent­ly in new ways. When in doubt, repeat. Espe­cial­ly pow­er­ful in com­bi­na­tion with step num­ber 1. 

9. Should your red­head become agi­tat­ed, take a moment to enjoy this. It is a fea­ture, not a bug! Repeat steps 1–8 and it should soon pass. 

10. Should you find main­te­nance to be too dif­fi­cult, please return your red­head. Some­one else will be wait­ing for pick up. Note: Please noti­fy sam­bear should you have any doubt of this 😉