Happy Birthday !
Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood.
I’m swiping this from rasilio and the rest of you fortunate enough to have redheads of your very own, pay attention!.
First of all, congratulations on your acquisition of a redhead! Follow these simple steps to ensure safety. May your user experience be an enjoyable one!
1. Provide with quality orgasms frequently. Failure to do so many result in outright hostility.
2. Keep out of direct sunlight unless SPF of 45 or greater is applied liberally.
3. You like freckles. Think of something fun to say about them. Repeat as necessary.
4. Should your redhead become uncooperative, repeat step one.
5. Should step one fail, approach with gifts, apologies, and perhaps a sweet alcoholic beverage.
6. Take your redhead out to dance on tables and raise hell every now and then. Should you not be qualified, drop her off at a girlfriend’s house for this activity.
7. Be exciting and creative. Should you fail in this endeavor, your redhead may become pouty and restless. If in doubt, refer directly to step number 1.
8. Compliment frequently in new ways. When in doubt, repeat. Especially powerful in combination with step number 1.
9. Should your redhead become agitated, take a moment to enjoy this. It is a feature, not a bug! Repeat steps 1–8 and it should soon pass.
10. Should you find maintenance to be too difficult, please return your redhead. Someone else will be waiting for pick up. Note: Please notify sambear should you have any doubt of this 😉