School & Disability

I’ve just begun the process of with­draw­ing from my cours­es and request­ing that I be giv­en an “incom­plete” grade for each of them so that what I have done this semes­ter won’t be wasted.

My three pro­fes­sors are meet­ing briefly after the gen­er­al staff meet­ing today to dis­cuss my sit­u­a­tion. I was able to talk to two of them, but not the third. The pro­fes­sor I have for two cours­es has already said he’ll work with me, so that’s one less worry.

I just real­ized that I’m wor­ry­ing more and more over school stuff, putting more ener­gy into the wor­ry­ing than into accom­plish­ing any­thing. The stress makes the whole FMS flare worse, and I’m in a seri­ous down­ward spi­ral. Of course, the depres­sion kicks in and makes it all even worse.

My first instinct was to drop every­thing, just quit and with­draw from every­thing I’m doing and hide. I’ve done it in the past. It does­n’t help in the long run. I’m try­ing to be more rea­son­able about this now.

Since I let the Social Secu­ri­ty dis­abil­i­ty appli­ca­tion process lapse before because it was so over­whelm­ing, I’m going to go ahead and start it again, but with a difference—I’m just going to con­tact one of the law firms that han­dle such things and ask them to run with it. I don’t have the ener­gy to do it myself, but I need to do it to get access to health care on a reg­u­lar basis with­out wor­ry­ing about whether or not I can hold down a “nor­mal” job.