Life is ever so much easier when you’re able to think in black and white.
There was a time when I was absolutely sure that not only would I immediately walk away from any partner who was unfaithful to me in any way. I didn’t want to have anything to do with anyone who was so dishonorable as to be unfaithful to anyone else.
I did walk away from unfaithful partners. No second chances, no opportunity to explain—it was over. Period. But I was also holding a lot of myself back from those relationships and wasn’t involved nearly as deeply as I am with partners now. Is that maturity? I don’t know.
I still feel very, very strongly about infidelity. I would still find infidelity to be an absolute showstopper in the early stages of any relationship. I’m very cautious about ever getting involved with anyone who has been unfaithful to others in the past. Anyone with a pattern of that kind of behavior is just not of interest to me.
But I can’t be black and white anymore. Whereas there was a time when I would have responded to news of friends breaking up due to infidelity in the relationship by shunning the person who was unfaithful, I’m less quick to cut those people off now. I know more. I love people who have been unfaithful, and I know they’re still good people.
I’m definitely not saying that I think infidelity is EVER justifiable. The act is still absolutely wrong. But the people matter more than right or wrong to me right now. And I hate to see them hurting.