Abuse Survivors and Cycles

The more I learn about the case where the bodies of the two missing girls in Oregon were found on Ward Weaver’s property, the more upset I am. According to CNN, one of the girls, Ashley, had accused him of molesting her.

Why wasn’t this guy investigated more thoroughly and immediately after Ashley disappeared, considering those accusations? Family members and friends have said they had a close, and at times inappropriate, relationship. They knew that and allowed it?

But it seems that neither of these girls’ families protected them very well. Both of them were already victims of molestation. And apparently, that fact made Ashley’s accusations less credible. Despite the fact that the earlier molestation was, in fact, proven to have happened.

Both girls’ fathers are convicted sex offenders. One of Miranda’s mother’s boyfriends molested her.

Victims of abuse are more likely to be abused again, because of the psychological damage they take. Children whose parents are abuse survivors are more likely to be abused than other children, because the parents’ psychological damage makes it easier for abusers to gain access to the children. How many generations of these girls’ families have experienced abuse? I have to wonder. Did Miranda and Ashley ever have a chance?

I’m a survivor of child sexual abuse when I was 3-4 years old by a man who was married to my aunt. “Everybody knew” that he was a “dirty old man” and so on. Nobody acted. Ever. They all thought “well, it’s not my daughter.” And it was. They didn’t even warn us! Never! Yes, I’m still angry. Apparently, they thought that warnings would frighten us, so without the warnings, thinking this was a man who could be trusted (hey, he was an uncle, right?), many more children were accessible to him.

I was molested again later, when I was 7, by a 14-year-old male babysitter. His mother worked with my father. My parents trusted him to take care of me while they had dinner with his parents.

I told both times. I didn’t have the right words for what had happened. I wasn’t believed. I would have thought that the blood my mother found on my underwear would have been enough, but she accused me of hurting myself by doing something naughty. I stopped trying to talk to my parents much. The extended family has verified that my personality changed a lot during the first period, and after the second I withdrew almost entirely into books for many years.

I don’t know if I take this kind of thing so seriously just because of my experiences or not. I hope others who haven’t had similar experiences take it seriously, too.

Please, protect your children and teach them to protect themselves.

Current Mood: 😡angry
Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
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