Book Review: Good Girls Don’t Get Fat
Posted by Cyn | Filed under Reading, Size Acceptance
Good Girls Don’t Get Fat by Robyn Silverman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book is absolutely amazing, and I strongly recommend it to everyone.
Yes, I said everyone. If you are a human being who is reading this post/review, you live in a first-world society and you interact with females. You will benefit from a greater understanding of what modern social standards do to young females and how they shape us for the rest of our lives, how they twist us into disordered thinking that touches absolutely everything we do, from how we think about ourselves to our personal and business relationships, our spirituality, our health — everything. And you will have an opportunity to change how you interact with females, particularly girls, so that you are more of a positive influence rather than yet another person who is pulling her down and holding her back.
I was already familiar with some of the research regarding the media and unrealistic portrayals of women. I knew that every magazine cover is Photoshopped and airbrushed, that “normal” models represent only 1–2% of real women, etc. I didn’t know that 5% of American high school girls have turned to taking anabolic steroids in order to get a more toned, slim look, according to the CDC’s 2003 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System, and that one out of every 14 girls in American middle schools have tried steroids for the same purpose. I had heard that the popularity of cosmetic surgery for young people was rising, but I had no idea that it was as prevalent as it is. I can’t remember exactly how high, but it was frightening.
If there is a young lady in your life, stop for a moment and think — are you a positive influence on her? When young women in college were asked about what they recall their parents saying about their bodies as they grew up, 80% of the responses were of negative remarks. What will the girl in your life remember you saying? If you’ve ever wondered whether or not you should talk to her about losing a little weight, don’t. Believe me — the rest of the world has already beaten that into her, and will go on doing so every minute of every day. There’s no way she doesn’t know that her body is unacceptable, whether she’s still carrying a little baby fat, is morbidly obese, or simply has a slightly round face.
One of the things I admire most about Good Girls Don’t Get Fat is that it doesn’t just talk about how bad things are, it gives concrete suggestions for improvement! That’s what we need.
The book is available in any format you can imagine. Pick it up. It’s an easy read, and wonderful.
Tags: children, eating disorders, fat, Parenting, Robyn Silverman
Is crying cathartic for you?
Posted by Cyn | Filed under Health
I hate crying, and will go to great lengths to avoid letting anyone see me cry—a habit I acquired as a child, because I didn’t want to let my father “win” when he hurt me. I always feel worse, rather than better, if I do cry about anything, so I’ve never understand why anybody could talk about “having a good cry.” This piece from today’s today’s Delanceyplace mailing was informative.
Some researchers now say that the common psychological wisdom about crying—crying as a healthy catharsis—is incomplete and misleading. Having a “good cry” can and usually does allow people to recover some mental balance after a loss. But not always and not for everyone, argues a review article in the current issue of the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science. …
In her book Seeing Through Tears: Crying and Attachment, Judith Kay Nelson, a therapist and teacher living in Berkeley, Calif., argues that the experience of crying is rooted in early childhood and people’s relationship with their primary caregiver, usually a parent. Those whose parents were attentive, soothing their cries when needed, tend to find that crying also provides them solace as adults. Those whose parents held back, or became irritated or overly upset by the child’s crying, often have more difficulty soothing themselves as adults.
“Crying, for a child, is a way to beckon the caregiver, to maintain proximity and use the caregiver to regulate mood or negative arousal,” Dr. Nelson said in a phone interview. Those who grow up unsure of when or whether that soothing is available can, as adults, get stuck in what she calls protest crying—the child’s helpless squall for someone to fix the problem, undo the loss.
“You can’t work through grief if you’re stuck in protest crying, which is all about fixing it, fixing the loss,” Dr. Nelson said. “And in therapy—as in close relationships—protest crying is very hard to soothe, because you can’t do anything right, you can’t undo the loss. On the other hand, sad crying that is an appeal for comfort from a loved one is a path to closeness and healing.”
Tears can cleanse, all right. But like a flash flood, they may also leave a person feeling stranded, and soaked.
Tags: catharsis, childhood, crying, Parenting
News Flash: Decatur Teen Comes Home Early From Date!
Posted by Cyn | Filed under Family, Health, Parenting
What a weirdo! I mean, you’d think these kids were being, I don’t know, responsible or something! Just because she has an appointment early in the morning, she came home early.
Kids these days! I don’t think I ever got home an hour and a half before curfew.
Maybe she’s smarter than I was. Hmmm.
But, really, she should have given us a warning. She caught us podcasting!
Ohs noes, I have to get up in the morning!
Posted by Cyn | Filed under Family, Health, Home
I mean, like get up by a certain time and be conscious enough to drive, which is unusual. Really unusual, as I very seldom drive. But the girl needs to go see the doctor, and she still sees a pediatrician because they’re easier to get in to see when you need to see them, and sick visits mean waiting and waiting in the lobby. It would take way too much of Sam’s day to try to take off work to do it. So unless I just can’t, at all, it’ll be me. So no long entry tonight!
Tags: doctors, driving, Katie, Parenting, Sam
Romance and Roleplaying
Posted by Cyn | Filed under Family, Fun, Geekery, Relationships, RPGs
Sam has talked about this subject in several of his podcasts, but I don’t think I’ve ever tried to address it. I may fail miserably, but I’ll try.
Sam and I had one of our twice-weekly “date nights” tonight. That means that from about 7pm ’til we go to bed, we do nothing but have fun with each other. The girl amuses herself otherwise, or goes out, and we do whatever we like. Usually, that means we spend some time gaming.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: energy, Fantasy, Gaming, Horatio Hornblower, Love, Parenting, Penny Arcade, romance, RPGs, Sam
Reading
Posted by Cyn | Filed under Education, Family, Home, Homeschooling, Parenting, Reading, Relationships
So, the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas want me to talk about what reading means to me or my child. How about both?
You might have noticed that I talk, a lot, about reading. I think Now Reading shows at least four five of the books that I’m reading right now, and that’s a fairly normal number. I don’t include my textbooks, because they’d be there too long!
Reading is one of the things that I can still do, most of the time, despite the fibro and other crap. I can’t always manage to read on a screen, or follow something like a textbook. Fortunately, though, fiction by some of my favorite authors—especially an old favorite novel, like Partners in Necessity—is easier, and is a very good way to distract myself from the pain for a while.
I haven’t talked about it much, but Katie has had increasing health problems over the last year. Her migraines are no longer managed, despite taking high levels of preventive medications. The rescue medications aren’t working well because she has to take them too often. She had another round of sleep studies, too, and a new neurologist has been trying different medications to help her get a decent night’s sleep (which should help the migraines and other problems). So far, anything that helps her sleep despite severe restless leg syndrome leaves her zombified the rest of the time. Provigil, even taken twice a day, can’t keep her awake and aware enough to function in school. She’s literally sleeping like a cat, 14–18 or hours a day, just never deeply. Her dark circles have circles, now.
But she can still read, too. Slowly, some days, and going back to re-read some pages, but she gets the same comfort from it as I do. You know she’s mine when you realize that she’s never without at least one, and often two, books in her purse.
I started reading to her during my pregnancy, along with talking and singing and playing music for her. I read out loud to her from her first week out of the womb, too, sometimes while breastfeeding, other times while just being with her. She talked at an early age, and was very clear. She learned to read quickly, too, and has always been very opinionated (where did she get that?) about her choice of reading matter. One of her favorite things about leaving the public school system was being free of that damned Accelerated Reader program and its ridiculous restrictions!
It’s no surprise that I hope my nephews and niece are readers, too—although that’s far less likely, since their parents aren’t, really. My brother used to brag that he’d never read any whole book, even those assigned for classes. (I never understood that being a point of pride, even if he did get good grades.) My sister has never read anything that wasn’t required. I don’t know their spouses very well, but I’m fairly sure they aren’t recreational readers, either. At least the grandbabies have our mother (their Nana), who got me started reading, and will sit for hours with any child, reading book after book (or the same book, over and over) patiently.1 I’m not close to my siblings, geographically or otherwise, so I don’t have many chances to influence the babies. I can give them books, though, and hope to catch their fancy so they ask to have them read!
Being a fluent reader gives one more of an advantage that any other skill you can give your child. Readers can use that skill to learn absolutely anything else. They can explore math, science, critical thinking, history, current events, art—you name it. If you teach them to read, get them in the habit of doing so, and teach them to judge their sources well, you’ve given them an incredible start on life.
1 Mom (and I!) did read to my siblings, but neither of them ever wanted to sit still long.
Tags: Books, children, Education, media literacy, Parenting, Reading, thinking
Study: ADHD kids’ brain areas develop slower — CNN.com
Posted by Cyn | Filed under Education, Family, Health, News
Expert: Finding shows biological basis for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
Crucial parts of brains of children with attention deficit disorder develop more slowly than other youngsters’ brains, a phenomenon that earlier brain-imaging research missed, a new study says.
Developing more slowly in ADHD youngsters — the lag can be as much as three years — are brain regions that suppress inappropriate actions and thoughts, focus attention, remember things from moment to moment, work for reward and control movement. That was the finding of researchers, led by Dr. Philip Shaw of the National Institute of Mental Health, who reported the most detailed study yet on this problem in Monday’s online edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
I’ve gone from seriously not believing that ADHD existed at all, to being forced to understand its reality because my life partner, his kids, and my daughter all have it. These findings are a major advance!
I still know that plenty of people (particularly bad parents) use ADHD as an excuse, but that can happen with any disorder, real or imagined.
There’s further information at the National Institute for Mental Health, where the research was done.
Tags: ADD, ADHD, brain scans, children, development, earlier brain-imaging research, FMRI, focus, kids, National Academy of Sciences, National Institute for Mental Health, National Institute of Mental Health, online edition, Parenting, Philip Shaw
Packaging Boyhood
Posted by Cyn | Filed under Family, Home, Parenting
From the latest Dads & Daughters newsletter:
Our friend Dr. Mark Tappan is co-authoring a book, to be called “Packaging Boyhood” about marketing to our sons. The book aims to “scrutinize the world of boy power, and the ways media and marketers’ stereotypes about how to be a man reach way down into the lives and entertainment of younger and younger boys.” Mark is writing it along with Dr. Lyn Mikel Brown and Dr. Sharon Lamb, co-authors of the 2006 book Packaging Girlhood: Rescuing Our Daughters from Marketers’ Schemes.
To gather data for “Packaging Boyhood,” these preeminent scholars on the role of gender in the emotional, psychological and cultural development of our children put together a very interesting online survey at www.packagingboyhood.com. Participation by dads and/or their sons will be worthwhile.
Dads & Daughters is a great resource for parents, educators, or anyone else who cares about children. This is the first time I’ve seen them post something son-specific, but much of their material is important regardless of the gender of your child(ren). Maybe well see a Dads & Sons before long, or something similar.
Tags: advertising, boys, Dads & Daughters, gender, Lyn Mikel Brown, Mark Tappan, marketing, men, online survey, Packaging Boyhood, Packaging Girlhood, Parenting, Sharon Lamb, sons, survey, ways media, www.packagingboyhood.com
I’m a Girl Scout!
Posted by Cyn | Filed under Girl Scouts, Homeschooling
Yep, I’m a 39-year-old Girl Scout. In fact, all three of the humans in our household are registered Girl Scouts—myself, Katie, and yes, even Sam. Men can be registered as adult Scouts. Katie’s troops have always asked that at least one, and preferably both (or more if there are more!) parents in a family register as adult Scouts for various reasons.
I’ve been a troop leader in Junior and multilevel (Rainbow) troops in the past. I had one year of Brownies and one as a Junior Girl Scout when I was a girl. I didn’t have great experiences, and wanted to make things better for my daughter and other girls, so I stepped up to be a leader when needed. I found that I enjoyed it every bit as much as the girls do. As just one example, I had never gone camping until Katie became a Brownie, and thought I’d hate it, but it was really fun.
There are some marvelous resources on the net for Girls and their parents and leaders. Katie is going to share her favorite links with other girls, so I’ll concentrate on the adult stuff. Since I’m relatively new, I don’t have anything like the list of links some sites have, but I wanted to share the best of what I have found.
- The National GSUSA site has far more information on it than most people ever realize. If you don’t already know what local council serves your area, you can find out here.
- We’re in the Northwest Georgia council. That site also offers a wealth of information. Pay special attention to the regularly-posted Learning Opportunities, which is the schedule of classes offered for adults and sometimes for older girls. Council events are also posted here. We would have missed out on some marvelous opportunities if we waited for someone else to tell us about them instead of checking the council’s site regularly.
- The Scouting File Cabinet is a collection of links, songs, ceremonies, activities, information for parents — you name it! It’s part of a larger site, the Leader/Guide Cyber Council, which is marvelous.
- ScoutingWeb offers an astonishing range of material.
- New Moon Magazine isn’t specifically for Scouts, but it’s a marvelous magazine for and by girls that does occasionally feature some Scouting material. They also have a great mailing list, careaboutgirls. The list is “for adults who care about girls: parents, teachers, coaches, counselors, pastors, troop leaders, relatives, researchers, etc. This is for every adult who wants to help raise healthy, confident girls and make the world better and safer for girls.”
Someone expressed surprise when learning that I’m a Girl Scout leader because she was under the impression that Girl Scouting is only for Christians. I wrote an article to clear up that misconception, “Is There a Pentagram Badge?”
I especially encourage homeschooling families to explore Girl Scouting as an opportunity for their daughters. We use the GS badge requirements along with unit studies and they’ve given us many great ideas.
Tags: families, Girl Scouts, larger site, Leader/Guide Cyber Council, Northwest Georgia council, Parenting, scouting, Scouting File Cabinet
Link: Mindful parenting and unschooling
Posted by Cyn | Filed under Education, Family, Homeschooling, Links
Today, a post to one of the homeschooling lists I’m on included a link to Connections: ezine of unschooling and mindful parenting. I haven’t read all of it, but there’s definitely lots of good stuff there. Highly recommended!
Namaste,
Cyn
Tags: Connections, Homeschooling, mindfulness, Parenting, unschooling