Five Love Languages

Ganked from blyssmouse and gae­as­son, though the quiz they took is down at the moment.

Warn­ing! Turn on your pop-up stop­per before fol­low­ing the link below!

1. My top love lan­guage for the SelectSmart.com selec­tor, Five Love Lan­guages of Gary Chap­man, is Qual­i­ty Time. This can be expressed either through those inti­mate tête-à-tête dis­cus­sions or via doing things together. 
   • I get lone­ly and begin to feel uncar­ed about if I can’t hang out with some­one I love.
   • I feel com­plete when I spend time with peo­ple I love.
   • I show peo­ple I care by being with them.
   • I expect oth­ers who care about me to spend their time with me.
2. My sec­ond love lan­guage is Acts of Ser­vice. I pre­fer to show my love through favors and chores and doing things for oth­ers. I feel put upon and unap­pre­ci­at­ed when my efforts are tak­en for granted. 
   • I often feel spe­cial, sig­nif­i­cant, and use­ful when I help others.
   • I often feel upset when oth­ers don’t help me out, much less offer to do anything.
   • I show affec­tion by doing things for oth­er people.
   • I don’t usu­al­ly ask for help, but when some­one does some­thing for me, I feel real­ly cherished.
3. My third love lan­guage is Phys­i­cal Touch. I want to give and/or receive affec­tion phys­i­cal­ly. This may or may not cen­ter on sex. 
   • I give and expect in return hugs, pats, kiss­es, and oth­er phys­i­cal signs of affection.
   • I feel espe­cial­ly warm and appre­ci­at­ed when anoth­er touch­es me in a mean­ing­ful way.
   • I can feel awful about myself when peo­ple I love don’t touch me.
   • I like to show my feel­ings physically.
4. My fourth love lan­guage is Words of Affir­ma­tion. I need to hear praise to know I am loved, and I may also pre­fer to express my affec­tion ver­bal­ly. Neg­a­tive com­ments cut right to the bone. I want to hear that I am loved and how much and why. 
   • I find that another’s crit­i­cism real­ly, real­ly hurts.
   • I tell those whom I love that I love them. That’s suf­fi­cient for me.
   • I feel like I need com­pli­ments, so some­times I “fish” for them.
   • I feel like “a mil­lion bucks” when I get sin­cere praise.
5. My fifth love lan­guage is Receiv­ing Gifts. Presents and phys­i­cal tokens of affec­tion move me. It’s the fact that some­one is think­ing about me enough to give me some­thing that moves me. The objects are of sec­ondary impor­tance to the rela­tion­ship and sen­ti­ment with which they were intended. 
   • I tend to give oth­ers things to express my feel­ings about them.
   • I feel so good when I receive a present from some­one… or even just get a freebie.
   • I can feel quite depressed when I don’t get a gift, espe­cial­ly when I expect­ed one.
   • I would rather get a reward than extrav­a­gant applause.

Oh — no, the HTML does­n’t come that way. I did it because I pre­fer hav­ing more infor­ma­tion. I’d rather know where all five lan­guages come in for those of you who’ve tak­en the test, too. I don’t know a thing about mak­ing quizzes, though, so I can’t do it for you. Sorry.

From the way I actu­al­ly answered the ques­tions and how I feel about things, phys­i­cal touch and words of affir­ma­tion are almost tied. 

I’ve also been forced into a change, as I pre­fer to do things for peo­ple to show that I love them, but I do not like to have things done for me or ask peo­ple to do things for me. My dis­abil­i­ty, some­thing I was actu­al­ly diag­nosed with all the way back in 1993, has eat­en away at that for long enough that I’ve had to force myself to ask for help. I’m still not com­fort­able with my lack of abil­i­ty to take care of my peo­ple phys­i­cal­ly, though.

That’s actu­al­ly some­thing I’m almost curi­ous enough about to check out the orig­i­nal book: does he address the dif­fer­ence between how we express and receive expres­sions of love? Because they real­ly can be quite dif­fer­ent. If he does­n’t acknowl­edge a dif­fer­ence, it isn’t worth my time to request the book from the library.

I’m hav­ing an auto­mat­ic neg­a­tive reac­tion to the author’s name, and hazy mem­o­ries of books I read in my fundie days, or that were very pop­u­lar with the church I worked for as I was leav­ing Chris­tian­i­ty. The author might have changed as much as I have, but this is being mar­ket­ed as a Chris­t­ian book by one of the big reli­giou$ pub­lish­ing hous­es, so I sor­ta doubt it.

Sam’s main love lan­guage, I’m pret­ty sure, is Phys­i­cal Touch, fol­lowed by Acts of Ser­vice. He needs to be touched, and he loves to take care of peo­ple (I am too lucky for words). The girl likes to be tak­en care of, and she’s a snug­glekit­ty, but I’d very much like to see her test results.