About Depression

People who haven’t expe­ri­enced seri­ous clin­i­cal depres­sion are sel­dom able to under­stand how dif­fer­ent it is from “being down” or “the blues,” those dips every adult human has felt at some point.

They’re often judg­men­tal, and see those who are severe­ly depressed as being of weak char­ac­ter. I’ve had one such per­son apol­o­gize to me for a decade of judg­ing me that way, but it took a mis­car­riage and liv­ing through severe depres­sion her­self for her to “get it.” By then, what we’d once thought to be a “for­ev­er friend­ship” was irre­triev­ably damaged.

This is one of the best descrip­tions I’ve ever seen of true depres­sion. I don’t want to lose it, so I’m post­ing it here. I don’t know if it will help some­one to under­stand, but I can hope.

The bleak­ness of the land­scape is unimag­in­able. It is as friend­less and alien as a Dali paint­ing. Ordi­nary con­cerns, such as work or friends, have no place here. Futil­i­ty muf­fles thought; time elon­gates cru­el­ly. Who is to blame for this sit­u­a­tion? Those with depres­sion think it must be them. Point­less­ness and self-loathing gov­ern them. So the nat­ur­al final step is sui­cide. Peo­ple with depres­sion don’t kill them­selves to fright­en an errant boyfriend. They kill them­selves because it is the obvi­ous and right thing to do at that point. It is the only pos­i­tive step they can think of.
Kay McK­all, an Ipswich (UK) gen­er­al prac­ti­tion­er and con­sumer with depres­sion, writ­ing in the British Med­ical Jour­nal (NAMI Advo­cate, win­ter 2002)

Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
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