Looking for Your Geekmate?

Geek 2 Geek

I haven’t looked around, but here’s an arti­cle about it.

Sick of being treat­ed poor­ly by hand­some — or beau­ti­ful — yup­pie scum? Sin­gle peo­ple who put their needs first? Tired of cruis­ing the big dat­ing Web sites and hook­ing up with peo­ple who look great in their pro­files but more like Qua­si­mo­do up close?

What you may need is a geek. Geeks are brainier than most, wear pock­et pen pro­tec­tors proud­ly and tape their glass­es when they break. They miss class or work when they get too absorbed in a game of Dun­geons & Drag­ons or in a “Star Trek” marathon on TV. Geeks are ten­der­heart­ed because they have not been treat­ed kind­ly by our cul­ture. They are look­ing for love.

Peo­ple like “Super Nerd Girl,” who lives 17 miles from San Fran­cis­co in an undis­closed town. She is look­ing for love, but not from a mere mor­tal. She wants a geek. To find one, she has gone online and post­ed a pro­file of her­self on www.gk2gk.com — that’s “geek to geek” — which is the lat­est entry in the niche dat­ing mar­ket. Because after all, you’ve got your Repub­li­can dat­ing sites, your scu­ba-div­ing sin­gles sites, your reli­gious affil­i­a­tion sites. Why not one for geeks?

“Super Nerd Girl” calls her­self a “Geek of Life Sci­ence and Comics,” is a stu­dent of phys­i­cal anthro­pol­o­gy and lists her favorite board game as Risk and her “geek activ­i­ties” as belong­ing to the Soci­ety for Cre­ative Anachro­nism. She writes: “I have an intense inter­est in genet­ics and biol­o­gy, and when I’m not study­ing, I like to read comics, take walks, read for leisure, study mythol­o­gy and folk­lore, play Mag­ic: the Gath­er­ing some­times. … I’m sor­ta lack­ing in the social skills, and am here because I hon­est­ly can’t fig­ure out when some­one is ask­ing me out as a friend or a roman­tic inter­est. … Yeah, that’s how social­ly inept I am.”

The good news is she’ll find kin­dred spir­its on “geek to geek.” She just won’t know what they look like. There are no pho­tos on “geek to geek” — a con­scious deci­sion on the part of founder Spence Koppel.

“About a year ago, I noticed the pro­lif­er­a­tion of dat­ing sites on the Inter­net,” says the Chica­go actu­ar­i­al (“What could be more geeky?” he notes).

“What struck me about them was that they all showed pic­tures of very attrac­tive peo­ple who were look­ing for their match,” he says. “But my research indi­cat­ed that a large per­cent­age of the peo­ple who sign up on the sites lie about them­selves — some­times even show­ing pho­ny self-pictures.”

Kop­pel also real­ized that this was not a dat­ing uni­verse that would wel­come him and his ilk.

“As a long-term geek, I real­ized that, if I were look­ing for a rela­tion­ship online, almost none of the peo­ple who reg­is­tered on these sites would like­ly inter­est me, nor would I be of inter­est to them. The ques­tions asked in the pro­file includ­ed things like ‘What is your ide­al date,’ with choic­es like ‘Can­dle­light din­ner’ and ‘Long walks on the beach.’ Peo­ple on these sites were look­ing first and fore­most for roman­tic dates — for Prince Charm­ings. But I would be look­ing first for some­one who inter­est­ed me intellectually.”

So “geek to geek” was born.

“I thought it would be refresh­ing to geeks — and admir­ers of geeks — to find a dat­ing site where they would­n’t have to be con­cerned about whether they were attrac­tive enough to join,” says Kop­pel. “Where they knew that the oth­er mem­bers did­n’t care so much about looks, either, but about com­mon inter­ests instead.”

Those com­mon inter­ests are, not sur­pris­ing­ly, geeky. Sub­scribers are asked to fill out pro­files that focus less on their ideas of roman­tic dates than on their oth­er sorts of pas­sions: com­put­ers, sci­ence, lit­er­a­ture, games, TV, movies, hob­bies. Age and loca­tion are cri­te­ria for seek­ing part­ners, but not appearance.

So far, Kop­pel’s brain­storm is bear­ing fruit quick­ly. It boasts a mod­est 5,000 mem­bers now — but has dou­bled its num­bers month­ly. The site is just get­ting start­ed in the Bay Area: five women and 18 men. But giv­en the num­ber of tech­no-geeks here, it’s sure to grow by leaps and bounds.

Indeed, there are many good rea­sons for dat­ing a geek, says Koppel.

“While I don’t know of any pub­lished sta­tis­tics, it’s been my obser­va­tion that geeks have longer, hap­pi­er and more sta­ble rela­tion­ships than the pop­u­la­tion in gen­er­al,” he says. “Looks fade, and peo­ple who seek their mates based on looks tend to con­tin­ue to try to see if they can do bet­ter in that area. If they have few oth­er inter­ests in com­mon with some­one, well, that’s the end of that rela­tion­ship. On the oth­er hand, com­mon inter­ests tend to deep­en, last a long time and lead to oth­er com­mon inter­ests as part­ners age together.”

Sounds ide­al, does­n’t it? I would imag­ine that his work on their behalf has made Kop­pel a god among geeks.

“I’ve got­ten many e‑mails of thanks for start­ing the site,” he says. “They tend to have descrip­tive screen names like ‘Tall, Dork and Hand­some,’ ‘Once You Go Mac, You Won’t Go Back,’ ‘Thick Specs’ and ‘So What If I Like Knock-Knock Jokes?’ ”

And of course, “Super Nerd Girl,” who lets the world know what she’s after.

“I don’t want a mod­el because I’m sure as Hell not one myself. I want a geek/nerd, dammit!”

Writ­ten By
Jane Ganah

Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
Posts created 4259

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top