Three times in the recent past, I’ve had strangers ask me to give them an opinion on some situation touching polyamory. Each time, they never communicated with me again after I did so. I find that rather rude.
But in each case, I was utterly honest. I don’t think it’s healthy to tiptoe around issues or pretend they aren’t there, no matter how uncomfortable it is to talk about them.
Today I posted a message to a poly list that is likely to piss off a lot of people and realized that there is a theme that connects it to those other three situations.
In each case, the situations come down to a failure (or refusal) to be completely honest. Playing word games is dishonest. Claiming that you want a friendship with someone when all you want is sex is dishonest (by any definition of “friend” I’d recognize). Refusing to discuss sexual desires and needs with your spouse is dishonest.
Why is there such a cultural bias against being wholly honest?