News from Fuddle River Schools

This was posted to TAGMAX with no attribution, but I’m fairly sure it originated at Learning Laffs:

THIS WEEK’S NEWS: Back-to-School Night

Greetings from Fuddle River Schools.

The board met this week for its regular meeting.

Teachers and administrators from the high school were in attendance to discuss problems with their “Back-to-School Night.” “Back-to-School Night” is an annual event that allows parents the opportunity to follow their child’s school day schedule for short class sessions. In each class teachers briefly describe their courses and outline their course and classroom expectations.

This year’s “Back-to-School Night” was marred by a number of disturbing behavior problems:

– More than 100 parents were absent from the event. Almost all of the absences were unexcused, and detentions were assigned. Thirteen parents left before the end of the program, and their children were notified by phone.

– Twenty-three parents were given written assignments by the school health aide and suspended from parent involvement activities when they were caught smoking outside the west doors.

– Forty-two parents were assigned detention for bringing coffee and cookies to classrooms even though they had all been warned that the coffee and cookies served in the cafeteria were not allowed in the school’s hallways and classrooms.

– Mr. and Mrs. Thoglein were sent to the office when they refused to stop visiting with their neighbors during Mr. Beiker’s explanation of his Biology II curriculum.

– Mr. and Mrs. Perkmann were suspended for running in the halls.

– Mr. Kelly, Mrs. Langley, and Mr. Gillespie were all reprimanded for using their wireless phones during Miss Bowman’s American Literature presentation. Their phones were confiscated and are now being held in the main office.

– Mr. Thompson, Mr. Werner, and Mr. Ferguson were all sent to the principal’s office for using the media center’s television without permission to check the score of the “Monday Night Football” game.

– Mrs. Hempstead was assigned a detention for being in the halls without a hall pass and for refusing to give her name to the hall monitor.

– Mr. Hager was sent home for kissing Mrs. Hager. Mrs. Hager kissed him back, and she was also sent home.

– Mrs. Tucker was assigned detention for being tardy to each of her daughter’s classes.

– Mr. Leighton and Mr. Lopez were sent to in-school suspension for fighting over a parking space in the east parking lot.

– Mrs. Kemp was sent home for using a classroom computer without permission and then lying about it.

– Mr. Hoffman, an independent insurance agent, was assigned to the Saturday clean-up detail for littering by leaving his business cards all over the school.

– Over sixty other parents were sent to the office for various other acts of insubordination and disregard for school rules. Each will be expected to have a conference with a school administrator before they will be allowed back into the school for other events.

High school principal Hugh Batson presented a number of proposals for improving parent behavior at school events, and the board will review his proposals at their next meeting. Batson expressed his frustration with the unruly behavior when he stated, “Apparently many parents have forgotten what appropriate behavior at school is. We’ll have to teach them. However, if they are allowed to behave like this at home, I’m not sure what effects our efforts will have.”

And that’s it this week from Fuddle River.

Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
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