Salt Licks & The Hokey Pokey

I love this quote from Saint Aard­vark at /.:
“These sta­tis­tics should be tak­en with a salt lick.”

word­can­dlemage sent this to me this morning.

The fol­low­ing is from the Wash­ing­ton Post Style Invi­ta­tion­al con­test that asks read­ers to sub­mit “instruc­tions” for some­thing (any­thing), but writ­ten in the style of a famous per­son. The win­ning entry was “The Hokey Pokey” (as writ­ten by W. Shakespeare):

O proud left foot, that ven­tures quick within
Then soon upon a back­ward jour­ney lithe.
Anon, once more the ges­ture, then begin:
Com­mand sinis­tral pedestal to writhe.
Com­mence thou then the fer­vid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyra­tion, hips in wan­ton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heav­ens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Sure­ly canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke — ban­ish now thy doubt
Ver­i­ly, I say, ’tis what it’s all about.

– by William Shakespeare
(Jeff Brech­lin, Potomac Falls)