It’s a Quiz, But a Relevant One

The Changeling
Cate­go­ry X — The

Changeling

Wit­ty, amus­ing and a bit weird, you’re welcomed

into most social groups, even though you

don’t ‘fit in’ perfectly .

What Type of Social Enti­ty are You?
brought to you by Quizil­la

We are cut off from many of the peo­ple we social­ized with in per­son over the last few years because they are still asso­ci­at­ing with (sleep­ing with, in sev­er­al cas­es) the nar­cis­sist. That’s a lone­ly feel­ing. Some of our friends have moved far away, like rasilio and star­rchilde. Some have just been insane­ly busy with work, and we did­n’t see much of them after mov­ing way across town, so we need to rebuild stronger connections.

But for what­ev­er rea­son, our world has shrunk some­what, and it’s lonely. 

I’m bru­tal­ly hon­est with myself regard­ing the fact that few peo­ple want to put up with my unre­li­a­bil­i­ty. It isn’t a char­ac­ter issue on my part, but a fact of life due to my ill­ness. I can­not make def­i­nite plans, peri­od. It is not pos­si­ble to know when I will have a severe migraine, or worse. 

Old friends are nat­u­ral­ly more under­stand­ing of that than new friends. Why would some­one new believe me when I explain, or Sam explains for me, that I real­ly do want to attend X event, but I’m unable to get out of bed? That whole invis­i­ble dis­abil­i­ty thing gives them no obvi­ous clues as to how bad things can get.

Even old friends get tired of the excus­es. I know I would.

But I do miss the rich social life we had a few years ago. I miss singing with a group, as we did with Try­bal­a­ka. I want to go to gath­ers and cons. I want to “just hang out” and dance again and game with new peo­ple. Shock­ing­ly, I’d even like to date some­one again some­day. I def­i­nite­ly want Sam to have oth­er sweeties.

But I am very much an intro­vert, just one who can do a good job of putting on an extro­vert mask for a time when nec­es­sary. I am self-con­scious and inse­cure and ter­ri­bly afraid of rejec­tion. I am con­sti­tu­tion­al­ly inca­pable of pur­su­ing a roman­tic inter­est. Telling some­one I have a crush on him shocked the heck out of both of us. (The fact that he’s far away and an incred­i­bly hon­or­able per­son made it safer, but still…)

In any case, being adapt­able could be a good thing in terms of expand­ing our social net­work again. I cer­tain­ly have to work on my health issues. And it’s past time for me to post open­ly about some of the stuff that’s hap­pened in the last six months, so expect that today or tomorrow.

Cyn is Katie's mom, Esther's Mémé, and a Support Engineer. She lives in the Atlanta area with her life partner, Rick, and their critters. She knits, does counted-thread needlework, reads, makes music, plays TTRPGs, and spends too much time online.
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