Elegant Snark

The Hunt­ing of the Cat (with apolo­gies to Mr. Car­roll) from Jon Reid:

The Hunt­ing of the Cat

“Come, lis­ten my friends while I tell you again
The five unmis­take­able spats
By which you may know, where­so­ev­er you go,
The war­rant­ed gen­uine Cats.

Let us take them in order. The first is debate
About fash­ion and mat­ters of taste,
Which true Cats do dis­cuss, and the phrase that they hate:
De gustibus non dis­putam est.

Their habit of sharp­en­ing their claws on each other
Is some­thing that new­bies deplore,
But now and again one will agree to be mother,
And a new Kit­ten will take to the floor.

The third is their con­tentious­ness in what is tru­ly a Cat
Which they all love to ban­ter about.
Each believes that they know the truth in this spat,
And every­one else is a lout.

The fourth is their fond­ness for bait­ing the trolls
Should they hap­pen to ven­ture on one
They will fly to their key­boards like Repub­li­cans to polls
And have sent more than one troll on the run.

The fifth spat is them­selves, for true Cats can admit
When they are good sub­jects for cattery.
While the oth­er Cats will hail the tru­ly sharp wit,
A strange form of invert­ed flattery.

And although true Cats are quite amus­ing to find,
I still feel it is my duty to say
Some are Jack­als…” cross­fire stopped on a dime,
For rmjwell had faint­ed away.

With abject apolo­gies to Mr. Carroll.

Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
Posts created 4259

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top