The Hunting of the Cat
“Come, listen my friends while I tell you again
The five unmistakeable spats
By which you may know, wheresoever you go,
The warranted genuine Cats.
Let us take them in order. The first is debate
About fashion and matters of taste,
Which true Cats do discuss, and the phrase that they hate:
De gustibus non disputam est.
Their habit of sharpening their claws on each other
Is something that newbies deplore,
But now and again one will agree to be mother,
And a new Kitten will take to the floor.
The third is their contentiousness in what is truly a Cat
Which they all love to banter about.
Each believes that they know the truth in this spat,
And everyone else is a lout.
The fourth is their fondness for baiting the trolls
Should they happen to venture on one
They will fly to their keyboards like Republicans to polls
And have sent more than one troll on the run.
The fifth spat is themselves, for true Cats can admit
When they are good subjects for cattery.
While the other Cats will hail the truly sharp wit,
A strange form of inverted flattery.
And although true Cats are quite amusing to find,
I still feel it is my duty to say
Some are Jackals…” crossfire stopped on a dime,
For rmjwell had fainted away.
With abject apologies to Mr. Carroll.