Drama vs. Passion

the­fer­rett’s wife zoethe post­ed this piece, which has been passed through a whole mess of LJ users. I tracked down the author, Rinat­ta Paries, and her site What It Takes, although I did­n’t find this exact arti­cle there. It’s very good, so I want­ed to share it with my friends (and stick it in my mem­o­ries so I can find it again).

Accord­ing to Web­ster’s Dic­tio­nary, dra­ma is “a state, sit­u­a­tion or series of events involv­ing intense con­flict or force.” Pas­sion, on the oth­er hand, is defined as “a devo­tion to some activ­i­ty, object or concept.” 

Do you live your life in dra­ma or pas­sion? Are you attract­ing part­ners who live in dra­ma or passion? 

A life filled with dra­ma looks some­thing like this:
* Every­thing gets a huge, emo­tion­al response.
* The emo­tion­al response is often fol­lowed by a big action.
* Peace is sel­dom expe­ri­enced and often much wished for.
* Life is either real­ly great or very terrible.
* Rela­tion­ships, work, and life in-gen­er­al feel like a roller coaster.
* There is a gen­er­al feel­ing of being drained. 

A life filled with pas­sion looks some­thing like this:
* Emo­tions run deep and grow in inten­si­ty over time.
* Actions are thought out and lead toward the object of passion.
* Peace coex­ists with ela­tion and excitement.
* Life is good, even when it’s filled with ups and downs.
* Rela­tion­ships, work and life feel balanced.
* There is a gen­er­al feel­ing of being energized. 

Can you see how liv­ing with pas­sion is infi­nite­ly bet­ter than liv­ing with dra­ma? Can you see how much more you can accom­plish, expe­ri­ence and love when liv­ing with passion? 

Some­times these two states are dif­fi­cult to dis­tin­guish. Both have intense emo­tions and activ­i­ty asso­ci­at­ed with them. Many times peo­ple are attract­ed to poten­tial part­ners because they are look­ing for pas­sion, but they miss this dis­tinc­tion and end up with dra­ma. If you are attract­ing peo­ple who are liv­ing with dra­ma instead of pas­sion, exam­ine whether you are doing the same thing. 

What can you do if you are liv­ing with dra­ma right now? 

When­ev­er you feel like react­ing to a situation—whether in your rela­tion­ship or otherwise—stop. Take a walk. Breathe. Talk to your­self. Ask your­self the fol­low­ing questions: 

1. Is this as impor­tant as it seemed a few min­utes ago?
2. Is my reac­tion appro­pri­ate for this situation?
3. What am I feeling?
4. What is my biggest con­cern here?
5. What do I real­ly want out of this situation?
6. How do I need to act in order to get what I want?
7. Is what I want possible?
8. Why do I want this?
9. What are my needs that I need to care for right now?
10. What is the truth that I need to communicate? 

It is fair­ly easy to break the cycle of dra­ma. It takes a deep deci­sion to live your life dif­fer­ent­ly and the will­ing­ness to be peace­ful no mat­ter what. 

Inter­est­ing­ly enough, once you give up the dra­ma, your cur­rent and future part­ners will seem to have giv­en it up as well. 

May your pas­sion burn brightly! 

© Rinat­ta Paries, 1998–2002.

Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
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