theferrett’s wife zoethe posted this piece, which has been passed through a whole mess of LJ users. I tracked down the author, Rinatta Paries, and her site
What It Takes, although I didn’t find this exact article there. It’s very good, so I wanted to share it with my friends (and stick it in my memories so I can find it again).
According to Webster’s Dictionary, drama is “a state, situation or series of events involving intense conflict or force.” Passion, on the other hand, is defined as “a devotion to some activity, object or concept.”
Do you live your life in drama or passion? Are you attracting partners who live in drama or passion?
A life filled with drama looks something like this:
* Everything gets a huge, emotional response.
* The emotional response is often followed by a big action.
* Peace is seldom experienced and often much wished for.
* Life is either really great or very terrible.
* Relationships, work, and life in-general feel like a roller coaster.
* There is a general feeling of being drained.
A life filled with passion looks something like this:
* Emotions run deep and grow in intensity over time.
* Actions are thought out and lead toward the object of passion.
* Peace coexists with elation and excitement.
* Life is good, even when it’s filled with ups and downs.
* Relationships, work and life feel balanced.
* There is a general feeling of being energized.
Can you see how living with passion is infinitely better than living with drama? Can you see how much more you can accomplish, experience and love when living with passion?
Sometimes these two states are difficult to distinguish. Both have intense emotions and activity associated with them. Many times people are attracted to potential partners because they are looking for passion, but they miss this distinction and end up with drama. If you are attracting people who are living with drama instead of passion, examine whether you are doing the same thing.
What can you do if you are living with drama right now?
Whenever you feel like reacting to a situation—whether in your relationship or otherwise—stop. Take a walk. Breathe. Talk to yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:
1. Is this as important as it seemed a few minutes ago?
2. Is my reaction appropriate for this situation?
3. What am I feeling?
4. What is my biggest concern here?
5. What do I really want out of this situation?
6. How do I need to act in order to get what I want?
7. Is what I want possible?
8. Why do I want this?
9. What are my needs that I need to care for right now?
10. What is the truth that I need to communicate?
It is fairly easy to break the cycle of drama. It takes a deep decision to live your life differently and the willingness to be peaceful no matter what.
Interestingly enough, once you give up the drama, your current and future partners will seem to have given it up as well.
May your passion burn brightly!
© Rinatta Paries, 1998–2002.