Yes, I DO Remember

Another one of those get­ting-along-with-Cyn­thia rules—one that my fam­i­ly of ori­gin would do well to note.

Don’t play crazy-mak­ing mem­o­ry games with me. I had my mem­o­ries ques­tioned and denied so often in my ear­ly life that I:
1) Devel­oped a damned good mem­o­ry. I remem­ber some­thing very close to a record­ing-per­fect ver­sion of any con­ver­sa­tion. Yes, this has been proven repeat­ed­ly in var­i­ous situations.
2) Keep records of writ­ten com­mu­ni­ca­tions like email and chat.
3) Fre­quent­ly men­tion those spo­ken con­ver­sa­tions with pre­cise quotes in my (hand­writ­ten) jour­nal or oth­er writ­ten media, because if I’m going to bring some­thing up I want to be as accu­rate as possible.

If I tell you that I said ‚“I haven’t made any changes to that site in over a year” then that’s exact­ly what I said. Whether or not you heard “that site’s been gone for over a year” is no reflec­tion on my veracity. 

If I tell you that yes, I did let you know that X might come over on Sun­day, then, believe me, I did tell you that. While you were con­scious, even. If you did­n’t lis­ten to me, or just don’t remem­ber it, that’s not my fault.

If we’re dis­cussing a writ­ten exchange, it’s espe­cial­ly stu­pid to try to twist things around or change his­to­ry. If you changed it in your mem­o­ry, I’ll pro­vide doc­u­men­ta­tion to refresh your mem­o­ry if necessary—and if it’s nec­es­sary, it is unlike­ly that I will ever trust you again, because I con­sid­er you dis­hon­est. Don’t try to claim that your mem­o­ry is bet­ter than my records because it isn’t.

Num­ber 1 also means that if you at any time said, “I hate you,” then for me it’s still echo­ing. Don’t use that kind of lan­guage if you’re over three years old and have any inter­est in an ongo­ing rela­tion­ship with me. In fact, don’t say any­thing you would­n’t want to have echo­ing through the rest of our association.

Cur­rent Mood: pissed off
Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
Posts created 4259

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top