“In Love” / NRE / Love

From a recent post I made to a mail­ing list:

“In love” is what I call that emo­tion­al­ly ine­bri­at­ed state that’s usu­al­ly at the begin­ning of a rela­tion­ship, but may be renewed or blos­som again from time to time. I fig­ure it’s the ener­gy that lets us be with each oth­er enough to find out how we fit togeth­er, to look past ini­tial “oopses” and such—to put in the time required to start grow­ing a rela­tion­ship. We’re more tol­er­ant then, but unfor­tu­nate­ly can be all too tol­er­ant and over­look impor­tant warn­ing signs that we tru­ly aren’t com­pat­i­ble or that a new part­ner has issues that will make a healthy rela­tion­ship either unlike­ly or impossible.

I do tend to think of it as most­ly the same as NRE,1NRE = new rela­tion­ship ener­gy with one impor­tant dif­fer­ence. I’ve noticed that monoamorous peo­ple usu­al­ly want to focus whol­ly on the per­son with whom they are “in love” right this moment, to the exclu­sion of any­one else. Polyamorous peo­ple in healthy rela­tion­ships usu­al­ly take NRE back to their inter­ac­tions with their exist­ing part­ners, caus­ing renew­al there as well.

Love is what keeps us with our part­ners through the whole “in sick­ness and in health” thing. It has to be lived as a verb more than just felt as an emo­tion. It’s liv­ing with some­one day in and day out, see­ing them at their best and their worst, and defin­ing wher­ev­er they are as “home.” It stays there even when you don’t *like* that per­son very much.

Cur­rent Mood: 🤔con­tem­pla­tive
Cyn is a proud Mommy & Mémé, professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
Posts created 4241

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top