What’s an “internet wife” anyway?

Police allege man mur­dered by inter­net wife’s ex-husband

It’s the head­line that both­ers me. Just at a glance, I’d think that the mur­der vic­tim had an online-only rela­tion­ship with his “inter­net wife,” like those peo­ple whose MMORPG char­ac­ters or Sec­ond Life avatars get “mar­ried.” But, no, he met the woman on the inter­net and mar­ried her in real­i­ty after her divorce from her pre­vi­ous hus­band was final.1No details are giv­en as to tim­ing, or whether she left for the new guy.

I’ve seen peo­ple refer to those who meet online and have a meat-world rela­tion­ship this way before, but it’s annoy­ing. If you meet some­one on the inter­net, and the two of you mar­ry, is that woman an “inter­net wife” and that man an “inter­net hus­band” forever?

By that log­ic, peo­ple should have bar, school, church, and gym spous­es too, yes? My moth­er has a base­ball game hus­band. My sis­ter has a golf course hus­band. I think my broth­er met his wife at work, so she’s his work wife. 

Now, if I thought peo­ple would fol­low this nam­ing con­ven­tion to its log­i­cal con­clu­sion and have mul­ti­ple spous­es, it would­n’t be quite as annoy­ing. Some­how, though, I doubt that broth­er is going to acquire a rug­by wife or some such.2Wait, do women play rug­by? I’ve nev­er met one who did. Hmmm.

Any­way, the head­line should have read some­thing like “Police allege man shot by wife’s jeal­ous ex-hus­band” (I’d pre­fer active voice, but it seems The Tele­graph doesn’t).

Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
Posts created 4255

8 thoughts on “What’s an “internet wife” anyway?

  1. Wow! You’re right and the insin­u­a­tion is high­ly offen­sive as if our rela­tion­ship is vir­tu­al. My inter­net hus­band and I, who’ve been togeth­er 16 years, and our 4 chil­dren, disagree.

    BTW, have missed your posts. 🙂

  2. Yes, that is annoy­ing. I sup­pose to some­one who still sees the inter­net as some­thing unusu­al and sus­pi­cious, it’s akin to say­ing “mail-order bride.” The head­line dates the author.

  3. Not real­ly rel­e­vant to the main post, but I have 2 female cousins who play rug­by or have played it.

  4. Recent­ly I read of anoth­er cou­ple that were divorc­ing since he had a cyber affair and so she fol­lowed suit. It is hard enough to be a cou­ple but now adding the inter­net makes it harder.

  5. The term “inter­net wife” does­n’t make any sense. Unless you com­plete rela­tion­ship is over the Inter­net.. and in that case, I’d say.. “Get a life!”.. I met my wife
    over the Inter­net, but we live togeth­er.. and it’s an excel­lent relationship.

Comments are closed.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top