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Review: Prom Nights From Hell

So, um, I tried to read this. I real­ly did. I don’t know if it’s “para­nor­mal romance over­load” or the fact that I’d just fin­ished read­ing mate­r­i­al from two incred­i­bly good writ­ers (Sarah Mon­ette and Eliz­a­beth Bear), but I had no patience for the fluff. Over­all, I gave the book a 2/10.

Cover of Prom Dates From Hell
i did get through “The Exter­mi­na­tor’s Daugh­ter” Meg Cabot. I don’t intend to read any­thing else by her. Yes, it was bet­ter than oral surgery, but I wish I’d spent the time clean­ing the sink or some­thing. To her cred­it, I did have a “laugh out loud” moment ear­ly on, when she used the phrase “tramp stamp.” I had­n’t heard that before, and I love it (although “arse antlers” is prob­a­bly still my favorite).

Lau­ren Myr­a­cle warns read­ers that “The Cor­sage” is based on “The Mon­key’s Paw.” That sto­ry scared the bejeezus out of me when I was 6, and I should have known that it was still firm­ly imprint­ed in my mind. I could­n’t get far enough in Myr­a­cle’s homage to learn the con­se­quences of the first wish. I remem­ber, right around then, how much I real­ly, real­ly hate the orig­i­nal sto­ry. Yes, it’s well-writ­ten, and Myr­a­cle isn’t bad. Unfor­tu­nate­ly, I could­n’t sum­mon up any inter­est in her char­ac­ters to keep me read­ing, and with­out that, I cer­tain­ly was­n’t going to read for the spook fac­tor.

Madi­son Avery and the Dim Reaper” by Kim Har­ri­son was dull, dull, dull, and did I men­tion dull? Spoiled brat whin­ing. There ya go. I don’t know where the “plot,” if there was one, was going. I did­n’t care. If she got mur­dered by the guy she danced with after being nasty to her prom date, yawn.

And that, dear read­er, is where I stopped. If Michelle Jaf­fe’s “Kiss and Tell” or “Hell on Earth” by Stephe­nie Mey­er are great works of lit­er­a­ture, I missed out. If I had absolute­ly noth­ing else with which to amuse myself, I might read them. Hap­pi­ly, that isn’t the case at the moment!

Dear Pub­lish­ers: Stop now. Real­ly. The world does not need Preschool Grad­u­a­tion From Hell, First Babies From Hell, or Mid-life Cri­sis From Hell. Thank you.

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