Yes!

A Pos­si­ble Pagan Polit­i­cal Plat­form Plank

if you please…
Reli­gious Road Kill Retrieval Right of Way Legislation

Reli­gious Road Kill Retrieval Right of Way leg­is­la­tion is imper­a­tive if we are to save the lives of many mes­mer­ized Pagans. We need to enact Stat­ues that will strong­ly encour­age the aver­age motorist to be on the look­out for that hap­less Pagan caught up in the “Road Kill Rap­ture Syn­drome”. For those of you unfa­mil­iar with the phe­nom­e­na, it occurs when a Pagan becomes so enthralled with the fresh remains of the totem ani­mal at their feet that they com­plete­ly for­get they are stand­ing in the mid­dle of an 8 lane high­way at rush hour. We need to teach the gen­er­al pub­lic to show some respect for this moment of Pagan enlight­en­ment, and swerve. In that instant where the car­cass gift­ed Pagan expe­ri­ences both the deeply mov­ing and con­flict­ing emo­tions of Grief for the death of such a beau­ti­ful ani­mal, and Joy for how great their new Grey Fox hand­bag is going to look, we must pro­tect them. Give Reli­gious Road Kill Retrieval Right of Way!

U.S. Treaty Incen­tives encour­ag­ing the mass impor­ta­tion of exquis­ite­ly aro­mat­ic, made from all nat­ur­al ingre­di­ents, hand rolled by abused child slave labor, incense. For Rit­u­al use only, of course.

A direct 100% tax deduc­tion, based on an indi­vid­u­als reg­u­lar hourly wage, for time spent answer­ing e mail.

Sci­en­tif­ic Endow­ments for research towards the advance­ment of Port-O-Let technology

Heavy lob­by­ing of the Vac­u­um Clean­er indus­try regard­ing the haz­ard and eco­nom­ic loss that beads sucked into the vac­u­um clean­er intake rep­re­sent. If we stand togeth­er, the day will dawn when bead fil­ters (with col­lec­tion pouch­es) are STANDARD (NOT just option­al) equip­ment on ALL vac­u­um cleaners!

A joint Sen­ate and House Res­o­lu­tion which directs the Nation­al Endow­ment for the Arts Com­mit­tee to rec­og­nize “Tie Dye” as a unique art form with sig­nif­i­cant cul­tur­al merit.

Spe­cial tax cred­its for:

House­holds pur­chas­ing more then $300.00 worth of can­dles per year (cred­it dou­bles for beeswax).
The pur­chase of more then 6 bolts of black cloth in any 30 day period.
Proof of dai­ly bathing for more then 30 days straight ( spon­sored by Offen­sive Olfac­tion Anony­mous, who offer the 12 step pro­gram “Clean and Pagan”). 

Par­tic­u­lar­ly the last bit. Very important!