Custody Crap

Well, interesting-I did­n’t see this from until after court:

The Five of Hearts speaks of changes and rest­less­ness in your heart which can man­i­fest in many ways. At the deep­est lev­el, you will prob­a­bly be feel­ing dis­sat­is­fac­tion with your cur­rent rela­tion­ship or home sit­u­a­tion and desire some sort of change.

When this card appears there is always the chance of a sep­a­ra­tion or divorce with some­one you love, but there is an equal pos­si­bil­i­ty that you will be tak­ing a trip or mov­ing to a new home. The high­est man­i­fes­ta­tion of this card is that of going out and meet­ing new peo­ple, telling oth­ers about what you are doing and who you are. You can make impor­tant con­tacts when this card is around.

As those of you who have seen sam­bear’s post know, R&G will be going to live with their moth­er on the West coast. They’ll be with us for a vis­it through August 13.

This is real­ly turn­ing out to be a case of “be care­ful what you ask for” as far as Sam’s ex-wife goes. 

She’s get­ting both kids to live with her, but the child sup­port that (I believe) she was count­ing on liv­ing off of is 1) far less than she expect­ed; and 2) won’t actu­al­ly start for almost a year.

Our records show that the ex-wife owed over $10k in child sup­port and med­ical expens­es. The judge gave Sam cred­it for $5k, and he does­n’t have to pay out a dime until that’s paid off, which will be in almost 12 months.

Hap­pi­ly, the amount of child sup­port was based on Sam’s cur­rent, rather than his his­tor­i­cal, income. While the ex-wife tried to claim that Sam had delib­er­ate­ly left his pre­vi­ous job for one mak­ing less mon­ey to reduce child sup­port, the Guardian ad Litem imme­di­ate­ly refut­ed that claim and the judge went with the GaL. The judge set the sup­port at 25% of Sam’s cur­rent gross income—legal guide­lines are between 23 and 28%, GaL had sug­gest­ed 26%.

The ex-wife had want­ed 28% of what Sam used to make at his old job—more than twice what he was ordered to pay.

The sup­port is to be paid via Pay­Pal, which is how the ex has been pay­ing sup­port to Sam for the last cou­ple of years. She want­ed it paid through the child sup­port enforce­ment office, but the judge said that 1) it’s too com­plex with an inter­state case; 2) it’s stu­pid of her to want that since they run 1–2 years behind all the time. And she actu­al­ly tried to get the judge to have Sam pay extra to cov­er the less than 2% fee Pay­Pal will charge her! He’s always absorbed that him­self, nev­er a squeak about ask­ing her for it. The judge said, “Nope, even with a fee it’s still with­in the guide­lines.” Now THAT is mon­ey-grub­bing (and the judge was SO not impressed with her on that count).

The ex-wife was try­ing to claim that she did­n’t owe a dime, Sam owed her mon­ey, etc.—except that, oh my, she could­n’t actu­al­ly pro­vide any RECORDS, and it was all her ex-employ­er’s fault, or the old day­care’s fault, etc. Then she said, “Oh, I have records stored at my father’s house and I could get to them now, but I could­n’t before.” (Her father was present in court with her.) The judge said, “Nope, we’re going on what we have here today.”

She has to pro­vide health insur­ance for the kids, and she and Sam split what isn’t cov­ered by the insur­ance 50/50 (Sam paid 75, her 25, before). If she lets the cov­er­age lapse, she’s liable for what­ev­er amount SHOULD have been cov­ered by the insurance.

And she’s to do all this when she’s been unem­ployed for two years. (I still don’t under­stand how the court could give her the kids with no vis­i­ble source of income, but hey, it was­n’t my call.) She’s liv­ing in a two-bed­room, one-bath apart­ment off her boyfriend, who is an only child who has nev­er been around kids before. She claims that rent out there (Bay area) runs $1k a bedroom—I know some of you are there, is that about right? Any­way, the place was quite crowd­ed just for a two-month vis­it. With no child sup­port for almost a year, I can’t help but won­der how the boyfriend is going to feel about fund­ing a big­ger place—and I rather doubt the ex-wife is going to be try­ing very hard to find a job (still). We fig­ure that if the boyfriend leaves, she’ll try to get more mon­ey or send the kids back.

Sam pays for trav­el and she reim­burs­es him 50%. Since she’s been using a friend’s fre­quent fly­er miles, and he’s like­ly to want to keep “pay­ing” her for the “work” she does for him in FF miles, we fig­ure she’ll try to do some hag­gling over that when it comes down to actu­al­ly giv­ing Sam cash.

I’m still wor­ried about the kids, but if that’s where the uni­verse wants them at the moment, that’s where they need to be. I’m relieved that the bat­tle is over. All that remains is the rest of their vis­it and get­ting their stuff out there (she has­n’t made any arrange­ments for that, either).

Thank you for all the love and sup­port. *hugs* to all of you!

Cur­rent Mood: 🙂relieved
Cyn is Rick's wife, Katie's Mom, and Esther & Oliver's Mémé. She's also a professional geek, avid reader, fledgling coder, enthusiastic gamer (TTRPGs), occasional singer, and devoted stitcher.
Posts created 4241

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top