If Disney Had Made Farscape…

If Disney had made Farscape…

* The DRDs would whistle while they worked.
* New sitcom: Chiana the Teenaged Nebari
* Hynerian national anthem, “It’s a Small World After All”
* “Push the stick up, your Prowler goes up…”
* Scorpius would have a wisecracking sidekick voiced by Gilbert Gottfried
* Aeryn would have a nutty but lovable father
* Crais would have a hook for a hand and refer to Braca as “Smee”
* Zhaan would be related to the Genie from Aladdin
* The show would be on ABC—and nobody would watch it!
* The villains from The Flax are known as “The Pirates of The Uncharted Territories”
* All of the other Leviathans would make fun of Moya’s big ears.
* D’Argo’s Qualta Blade is named Lumiere
* Zhaan would be the Blue Fairy
* Instead of starbursts, Moya does “Tinkerbell twinkles”
* “Hey, John Crichton! You’ve just made it back to Earth! What are you going to do now?”
* Mr. Crichton’s Wild Ride
* Sorcerer’s Apprentice: The queen bug and the replicants
* Sorcerer’s Apprentice 2000: Rygel conjures more DRDs to serve him.
* The vorc would be named Pluto
* Crichton’s father sounds suspiciously like James Earl Jones
* Scorpius tortures the New Mickey Mouse Club alumni (i.e. Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, etc). Everyone cheers.
* Aeryn would be brought back to life with a kiss from a handsome Dominar
* CGI effects done by Pixar. Name changed to Moy(a) Story
* 1,001 DRDs
* Farscape 1 re-christened “Herbie the Love Shuttle”
* The cartoon version of Aeryn would have STAYED Jessica Rabbit
* Noranti would give Crichton a poisoned apple
* New movie—Rygel and Stitch
* Another new movie—The Worm Hole: and finally,
* Crichton’s favorite phrase: “TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!”