If Disney Had Made Farscape…

If Dis­ney had made Farscape…

* The DRDs would whis­tle while they worked.
* New sit­com: Chi­ana the Teenaged Nebari
* Hyner­ian nation­al anthem, “It’s a Small World After All”
* “Push the stick up, your Prowler goes up…”
* Scor­pius would have a wise­crack­ing side­kick voiced by Gilbert Gottfried
* Aeryn would have a nut­ty but lov­able father
* Crais would have a hook for a hand and refer to Bra­ca as “Smee”
* Zhaan would be relat­ed to the Genie from Aladdin
* The show would be on ABC—and nobody would watch it!
* The vil­lains from The Flax are known as “The Pirates of The Unchart­ed Territories”
* All of the oth­er Leviathans would make fun of Moy­a’s big ears.
* D’Ar­go’s Qual­ta Blade is named Lumiere
* Zhaan would be the Blue Fairy
* Instead of star­bursts, Moya does “Tin­ker­bell twinkles”
* “Hey, John Crich­ton! You’ve just made it back to Earth! What are you going to do now?”
* Mr. Crich­ton’s Wild Ride
* Sor­cer­er’s Appren­tice: The queen bug and the replicants
* Sor­cer­er’s Appren­tice 2000: Rygel con­jures more DRDs to serve him.
* The vorc would be named Pluto
* Crich­ton’s father sounds sus­pi­cious­ly like James Earl Jones
* Scor­pius tor­tures the New Mick­ey Mouse Club alum­ni (i.e. Brit­ney Spears, Christi­na Aguil­era, etc). Every­one cheers.
* Aeryn would be brought back to life with a kiss from a hand­some Dominar
* CGI effects done by Pixar. Name changed to Moy(a) Sto­ry
* 1,001 DRDs
* Farscape 1 re-chris­tened “Her­bie the Love Shuttle”
* The car­toon ver­sion of Aeryn would have STAYED Jes­si­ca Rabbit
* Noran­ti would give Crich­ton a poi­soned apple
* New movie—Rygel and Stitch
* Anoth­er new movie—The Worm Hole: and finally,
* Crich­ton’s favorite phrase: “TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!” 

Ganked from john666