I just had an “Oh!” moment while chatting with waya.
I’m the “flake” in my family of origin—certainly the black sheep. I was “the smart one” in childhood, but after I went my own way as an adult the family largely decided that I’m not very competent (well, until they need help with anything technical).
I’d never put that together with the fact that I was the first to say, “You’re an alcoholic” to my father’s face. I kept saying it despite getting knocked around for it a lot. To the best of my knowledge, I’m still the only person in the world who will say it to his face.
It’s much safer to consider me a “flake” than to acknowledge the elephant in that living room.