Morford and the Bible Makeover

Morford is just too won­der­ful for words.

Yes that’s right. Jesus is the Chap­stick for the dry lips of your sin­ning self. Jesus is the holy Clear­asil for your Satan­ic shin zits. Jesus is that amaz­ing clenched feel­ing you get when you lie back and aim the show­er mas­sager just right and…oh, nev­er mind.

(big snip)

“Revolve” devolves the teen cause. Not a word about how indi­vid­u­al­i­ty is cool and self-explo­ration is way bitchin’ and that they them­selves are divine, are all-pow­er­ful, and that sex is a gor­geous pow­er­ful won­drous sticky joy to be respect­ed and enjoyed and explored and con­sent­ed upon and well learned. Heav­en forefend. That way debauch­ery and hell­fire lie.