I actually posted this as a response to something sumobabe said.
Once a year, I call an old friend of mine on her birthday (November 18). Michelle and I were best friends in middle school and high school. She was my maid of honor the first time I married. Then we grew apart—I was getting divorced as she was getting married, I left the church as she was getting more and more fundamentalist, etc. Her daughter is 9 and I’ve yet to lay eyes on her, although I’ve sent most of my daughter’s outgrown clothing to her through our parents (who still attend church together) all these years. Our daughters have met, briefly, while with their grandparents. We’ve seen pictures of each others’ kids, but it isn’t the same.
Anyway, I still miss her. We have a lot in common, still, but we have such different values that a real current relationship just isn’t very feasible. The funny thing is that I have two other friends (one extremely close) who are far more conservative than she is—they’re simply more tolerant of differences in others.
When I called her this year, she knew who it was immediately, which surprised me. She said she feels guilty every year when I call because she doesn’t remember to call me on my birthday (November 12). I told her that doesn’t matter—I just want to know what’s up with her. We used to talk about getting together since we live maybe 10 miles from each other. We don’t do that anymore—I guess we’ve accepted that it isn’t going to happen.
I miss singing with her. I treasure the fact that she didn’t think she COULD sing until we sat around at the piano enough for her to gain confidence to finally try out for the chorus I was in and join me, and now she sings solos all the time at various churches and in weddings. I miss her snarky sense of humor. I miss her stories about life in New Hampshire (which seemed very foreign when I was in middle school). I miss trying to get her hair tamed—we put three full sets of hot rollers in her hair while setting it for her wedding! I miss her wanting to borrow my shoes and complaining that her feet were too tiny for them (size 6)—the only person I’ve ever heard complaining about her feet being too small.
Michelle, even though I can’t imagine you will EVER join LJ—I still love you.
