Enemy of Entropy

From
Gay Unions Shed Light on Gender in Marriage

A growing body of evidence shows that same-sex couples have a great deal to teach everyone else about marriage and relationships. Most studies show surprisingly few differences between committed gay couples and committed straight couples, but the differences that do emerge have shed light on the kinds of conflicts that can endanger heterosexual relationships.

The findings offer hope that some of the most vexing problems are not necessarily entrenched in deep-rooted biological differences between men and women. And that, in turn, offers hope that the problems can be solved.

One of the things the article points out is something I’ve definitely noticed, that how people handle resolve conflicts is far more important than how often they experience conflict.

One well-known study used mathematical modeling to decipher the interactions between committed gay couples. The results, published in two 2003 articles in The Journal of Homosexuality, showed that when same-sex couples argued, they tended to fight more fairly than heterosexual couples, making fewer verbal attacks and more of an effort to defuse the confrontation.

Controlling and hostile emotional tactics, like belligerence and domineering, were less common among gay couples.

Back when the Meisha Merlin warehouse was being cleaned out, Sam picked up a copy of The Sword and the Dragon, first volume of the Epic Tales of the Five by Diane Duane that MM put out. It contains The Door Into Fire and The Door Into Shadow.

I’ve wanted my own copies of the first three Tales of the Five books for decades, since reading an old friend’s copies. I’m still disappointed that MM never put out the next volume, which should have included The Door Into Sunset and the never-before-published The Door Into Starlight. But then, there are other people who have far more reason to be disappointed about MM matters than I do, so I can’t fuss too much. And I have this volume, and will continue to hold out hope that Duane will find a new publisher who will bring out the others sometime in my lifetime.

Anyway, I had to stop reading to show this bit to Sam. It sums up much of what I love about Duane’s philosophy.

…death is inevitable. But we have one power, as men and beasts and creatures of other planes. We can slow down the Death, we can die hard, and help all the worlds die hard. To live with vigor, to love powerfully and without caring whether we’re loved back, to let loose building and teaching and healing and all the arts that try to slow down the great Death. Especially joy, just joy itself. A joy flares bright and goes out like the stars that fall, but the little flare it makes slows down the great Death ever so slightly. That’s a triumph, that it can be slowed down at all, and by such a simple thing.

Day of Silence : April 25, 2008

Elizabeth Bear succeeds where David Brin failed in Glory Season. What would a woman-dominated human society look like? How would it come about? Why? What, if any, role would males play? How would that society interact with more “traditional,” male-dominated human societies?

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I’m all infatuated with yet another author, my friends, so I must warn you that you’ll be reading much more about Elizabeth Bear here in coming weeks.

New Amsterdam is an anthology of connected stories twined around two main characters. “The Great Detective” is vampire Sebastien de Ulloa. Lady Abigail Irene Garrett is a forensic sorceror, Detective Crown Investigator in His Majesty’s Service in the colony of New Amsterdam. At the beginning of the 20th century, North America is still a patchwork of European colonies, with all the attendant political intrigue and military tension.

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