This book is absolutely amazing, and I strongly recommend it to everyone.
Yes, I said everyone. If you are a human being who is reading this post/review, you live in a first-world society and you interact with females. You will benefit from a greater understanding of what modern social standards do to young females and how they shape us for the rest of our lives, how they twist us into disordered thinking that touches absolutely everything we do, from how we think about ourselves to our personal and business relationships, our spirituality, our health — everything. And you will have an opportunity to change how you interact with females, particularly girls, so that you are more of a positive influence rather than yet another person who is pulling her down and holding her back.
I was already familiar with some of the research regarding the media and unrealistic portrayals of women. I knew that every magazine cover is Photoshopped and airbrushed, that “normal” models represent only 1 – 2% of real women, etc. I didn’t know that 5% of American high school girls have turned to taking anabolic steroids in order to get a more toned, slim look, according to the CDC’s 2003 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System, and that one out of every 14 girls in American middle schools have tried steroids for the same purpose. I had heard that the popularity of cosmetic surgery for young people was rising, but I had no idea that it was as prevalent as it is. I can’t remember exactly how high, but it was frightening.
If there is a young lady in your life, stop for a moment and think — are you a positive influence on her? When young women in college were asked about what they recall their parents saying about their bodies as they grew up, 80% of the responses were of negative remarks. What will the girl in your life remember you saying? If you’ve ever wondered whether or not you should talk to her about losing a little weight, don’t. Believe me — the rest of the world has already beaten that into her, and will go on doing so every minute of every day. There’s no way she doesn’t know that her body is unacceptable, whether she’s still carrying a little baby fat, is morbidly obese, or simply has a slightly round face.
One of the things I admire most about Good Girls Don’t Get Fat is that it doesn’t just talk about how bad things are, it gives concrete suggestions for improvement! That’s what we need.
The book is available in any format you can imagine. Pick it up. It’s an easy read, and wonderful.
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Posted by Cyn | Filed under Health
I hate crying, and will go to great lengths to avoid letting anyone see me cry — a habit I acquired as a child, because I didn’t want to let my father “win” when he hurt me. I always feel worse, rather than better, if I do cry about anything, so I’ve never understand why anybody could talk about “having a good cry.” This piece from today’s today’s Delanceyplace mailing was informative.
Some researchers now say that the common psychological wisdom about crying — crying as a healthy catharsis — is incomplete and misleading. Having a “good cry” can and usually does allow people to recover some mental balance after a loss. But not always and not for everyone, argues a review article in the current issue of the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science. …
In her book Seeing Through Tears: Crying and Attachment, Judith Kay Nelson, a therapist and teacher living in Berkeley, Calif., argues that the experience of crying is rooted in early childhood and people’s relationship with their primary caregiver, usually a parent. Those whose parents were attentive, soothing their cries when needed, tend to find that crying also provides them solace as adults. Those whose parents held back, or became irritated or overly upset by the child’s crying, often have more difficulty soothing themselves as adults.
“Crying, for a child, is a way to beckon the caregiver, to maintain proximity and use the caregiver to regulate mood or negative arousal,” Dr. Nelson said in a phone interview. Those who grow up unsure of when or whether that soothing is available can, as adults, get stuck in what she calls protest crying — the child’s helpless squall for someone to fix the problem, undo the loss.
“You can’t work through grief if you’re stuck in protest crying, which is all about fixing it, fixing the loss,” Dr. Nelson said. “And in therapy — as in close relationships — protest crying is very hard to soothe, because you can’t do anything right, you can’t undo the loss. On the other hand, sad crying that is an appeal for comfort from a loved one is a path to closeness and healing.”
Tears can cleanse, all right. But like a flash flood, they may also leave a person feeling stranded, and soaked.
What a weirdo! I mean, you’d think these kids were being, I don’t know, responsible or something! Just because she has an appointment early in the morning, she came home early.
Kids these days! I don’t think I ever got home an hour and a half before curfew.
Maybe she’s smarter than I was. Hmmm.
But, really, she should have given us a warning. She caught us podcasting!
I mean, like get up by a certain time and be conscious enough to drive, which is unusual. Really unusual, as I very seldom drive. But the girl needs to go see the doctor, and she still sees a pediatrician because they’re easier to get in to see when you need to see them, and sick visits mean waiting and waiting in the lobby. It would take way too much of Sam’s day to try to take off work to do it. So unless I just can’t, at all, it’ll be me. So no long entry tonight!
Sam has talked about this subject in several of his podcasts, but I don’t think I’ve ever tried to address it. I may fail miserably, but I’ll try.
Sam and I had one of our twice-weekly “date nights” tonight. That means that from about 7pm ’til we go to bed, we do nothing but have fun with each other. The girl amuses herself otherwise, or goes out, and we do whatever we like. Usually, that means we spend some time gaming.
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