Enemy of Entropy

What I learned from my past relationships

9 May 2006, 1:05 am. 13 Comments. Filed under Relationships.

So I actu­ally heard from some­one via Orkut. I can’t remem­ber if that’s ever hap­pened to me before or not.

Any­way, I went to check out this person’s pro­file, and real­ized mine was way out of date. Some­day, I swear, I’m going to repro­duce all the ques­tions all those dif­fer­ent places ask right here on my own site, keep that up to date, and refuse to fill out any other profiles.

Any­way, one of the fields was “From my past rela­tion­ships I learned…” I found the ques­tion more inter­est­ing that most, so I’m repro­duc­ing my answer here, expanded a bit.
from my past rela­tion­ships i learned: Some­thing dif­fer­ent every time :-) A few of them:

Hon­esty is the only way to relate that’s worth both­er­ing with.
Love isn’t enough.

Com­mu­ni­ca­tion is priceless.

Rela­tion­ships take lots of work from every­one, and some­times they just aren’t sustainable.

Sex is often the canary in the rela­tion­ship mine. Bar­ring health issues that make sex impos­si­ble or unlikely, a decrease in sex­ual inti­macy is usu­ally due to a decrease in over­all inti­macy, which is Bad.

There’s no under­stand­ing crazy. Just walk away with as much of your san­ity intact as possible.

Nobody deserves abuse.

Stay­ing together is sel­dom “best for the kids.” In fact, I’ve yet to see a sit­u­a­tion in which it was best for anyone.

There’s no way one (sane) per­son in a cou­ple or other group­ing is happy if the other is miserable.

If some­one changes in a big way right after you get mar­ried, start try­ing to get an annul­ment. He isn’t the per­son you thought you knew.

While an adult can lie to you eas­ily, his kids can’t. Nei­ther can his pets. If either doesn’t behave con­sis­tently with what she says, or she doesn’t treat them the way she says she believes in rais­ing kids or pets or what­ever, she’s a liar. Leave before you get any closer.

Some things are worth the pos­si­bil­ity of a bro­ken heart.

“If you really loved me you’d…” means that the speaker is an abu­sive ass­hole try­ing to get you to do some­thing that’s unhealthy for you.

Play­ing together is essen­tial. So is work­ing together.

Peo­ple are not projects.

Knights are noto­ri­ous for set­ting up new tow­ers with you inside them. The only safe “res­cue” is the DIY ver­sion, where you just walk out of the prison

What are yours?

 

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