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How do you feel when you return home at the end of the day?

fractured reality/grace under pain

The NaBloPo­Mo prompt for today:
How do you feel when you return home at the end of the day?

I’m not sure I should have answered this one, as I doubt that my answer will be in sync with the intent of the ques­tion. I don’t leave home every day to go to work, or leave home every day, period.

How­ev­er, when I do leave home, how I feel when I return depends on many fac­tors. How did I feel before leav­ing? How long was I gone, and how much phys­i­cal, intel­lec­tu­al, and emo­tion­al ener­gy did I have to expend while I was out? Did I have to deal with any­thing unex­pect­ed, good or bad? How many peo­ple was I around? Were they strangers or peo­ple known to me? Did I encounter them all at once, or in small groups of one or two at a time? Was Sam with me as a buffer? fHow’s my blood sug­ar? Am I well hydrat­ed? What was the weath­er like? Did I remem­ber to take my reg­u­lar med­ica­tions? What about tak­ing break­through pain med­ica­tion, anx­i­ety med­ica­tion, or a mus­cle relax­ant before I found myself in a state where they wouldn’t work very well? Did I use my scoot­er if there was much walk­ing? How noisy was the envi­ron­ment? Was it drafty, or over­ly hot or cold? Did I have to dri­ve? Was I out to do some­thing I want­ed to do, or was I doing some­thing I had to do?

Fre­quent­ly, I’m so dog-tired that I can bare­ly drag myself in the door. I have actu­al­ly fall­en asleep sit­ting in the car, in the driver’s seat, more than once. (There are plen­ty of rea­sons that I do not dri­ve much any more.) Deal­ing with the secu­ri­ty sys­tem seems an intel­lec­tu­al chal­lenge designed for Ein­stein. I’m eas­i­ly con­fused and my mem­o­ry is beyond poor. Even if I am dehy­drat­ed or I need to eat, I’m too tired to be inter­est­ed in food or even water. If I was out for too long, or if it was a par­tic­u­lar­ly stress­ful peri­od, I get a fever and my body reacts as if I’m in shock. I feel like I’m freez­ing, no mat­ter what the actu­al tem­per­a­ture around me is, and I start shak­ing badly.

So that’s how I feel most days when I return home at the end of the day, if I’ve had to leave home. I think that should go a long way towards explain­ing why I’m such a home­body these days! I am for­tu­nate in that I have Sam, Katie, and oth­ers in my life, so I am able to have a ful­fill­ing life with­out being very adventurous.

The Girl Is Better! And More Reading

That's a relief. I was getting quite worried. She spent most of the weekend sleeping or looking like a zombie, eating only what Sam could coax into her, and using heating pads. I'm starting to think that we should accept the offer to refer her to a pain management doctor, if only to have something she can take during a flare.

Blood NoirSo I read the latest Anita Blake novel, Blood Noir. I'm not sure why I continue to read these. Honestly, Hamilton is a decent writer. I enjoy her prose. She just needs to go back to plot school! Or maybe work with a co-writer who is strong on plot, but not relationships or descriptions?

There was no plot at all for the first few hundred pages of the book. When something involving a previous "big bad" did happen, it was nothing but an inconvenience, and over within an hour of Anita finding out about it. Whoopee. There was a crisis and danger, of course, but I found them anticlimactic after the villains Anita has vanquished in the past.

There was, of course, lots of sex. This one could have been called, "Anita gets a fuck buddy."

SunshineOh well. On to Sunshine by Robin McKinley. Someone recommended it to me years ago, and I happened to see McKinley's name somewhere and remembered it. I don't think that I've read any of her novels before. Short stories, maybe.

Whoops! Yesterday was FMS/​CFW Awareness Day!

I intend­ed to post and maybe even try to get a pod­cast out, but end­ed up using my ener­gy to do an inter­view with a reporter. I don’t know when the piece will come out (it wasn’t for aware­ness day – that was just an amus­ing coin­ci­dence), but I’ll let you know when/​if I hear anything.

She also inter­viewed Sam, since the top­ic was “fibromyal­gia and inti­ma­cy.” He’s so wonderful!

Adult: FMS from What?

I have a Google Alerts search going for “fibromyal­gia,” because if there’s some­thing out there that will make this crap bet­ter, I want to know it yes­ter­day. The alert brings in all sorts of non­sense from quack reme­dies to naysay­ers, in addi­tion to the actu­al content.

Today’s alert takes the cake, though. Some­body wrote to Dan Savage’s Sav­age Love col­umn ask­ing, “Can I Sue Some­body for Fist­ing-Induced Fibromyal­gia?“1

Savage’s med­ical expert is out of touch regard­ing the lat­est FMS research, but I have to agree with his reply to the letter-writer.

Sam and I tried to game a lit­tle tonight, but he was sleepy and I’m fad­ing, too. I did some writ­ing today, and more web­i­fy­ing, and worked on a cou­ple of school assign­ments. Then I got all-too-obsessed with try­ing to fig­ure out how to make the out­put of a cou­ple of Word­Press plu­g­ins work nice­ly with my template.

I hope y’all had a love­ly weekend!


1 http://​www​.vil​lagevoice​.com/​p​e​o​p​l​e​/​0​8​0​6​,​s​a​v​a​g​e​,​7​9​0​4​4​,​2​4​.​h​tml