Tag: energy

Mouse-Mouse and WordPress Oddity

I will not provide a photo, but I figure this pointing device would be all-too popular with any felines or canines in your household. I wouldn’t ever imagined such a thing if the Instructables people hadn’t sent out an email plea to whoever abducted Mouse-Mouse from their table at SXSW to please return him.

As slick as WordPress is, wouldn’t it make sense for it to figure out something like daylight saving time? I mean, if you could just click something, the way you do in Windows, to say, “Yes, I’m in an area that observes DST” it would be much, much easier than going through every bloody WP installation for which you’re responsible and manually changing the time, which is what I just realized that I need to do. I’m sure I would have noticed if there’s a plugin to provide that functionality in the Plugin Repository, and I don’t think there is one.

I tried Time Zone Calculator, but it just seems to figure various time zones and will display them in a widget or wherever you want to call it via php. That doesn’t help me. Automatic DST change functionality seems a no-brainer to me, so why isn’t it built in, and since it isn’t, why isn’t there a plug-in?

Have I mentioned lately how incredibly stupid I find DST? I’m totally unsurprised to learn that it doesn’t save a bit of energy, anyway.

Romance and Roleplaying

Sam has talked about this subject in several of his podcasts, but I don’t think I’ve ever tried to address it. I may fail miserably, but I’ll try.

Sam and I had one of our twice-weekly “date nights” tonight. That means that from about 7pm ’til we go to bed, we do nothing but have fun with each other. The girl amuses herself otherwise, or goes out, and we do whatever we like. Usually, that means we spend some time gaming.
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Midnight? Already?

Wow.

It’s been almost as fun listening to the kids (Katie’s gang, here for her birthday party) game as it would be to be part of a game myself. Maybe I will play Vampire some day. I suppose I’d trust Sam to run just about anything.

They’re watching something now – Mirrormask, it sounds like. I couldn’t believe that her Wolfie hadn’t seen it, as it’s so very much her kind of movie.

The house is cleaner than it’s been in a coon’s age. I’ll mark that up to being largely (not quite) done with the semester and to making preparations for the party. Sam and Katie were both marvelous about cleaning up.

The girl has been so exhausted that she missed dance yesterday, so I was a bit worried about her. She’s still going strong, though. She slept well past noon today! With her health concerns, she’s always running at the edge of her energy, even with catching naps where she can, so I suppose her fatigue is to be expected after she stayed out ’til (mumblety-mumble) Tuesday night/Wednesday morning.

Yes, on a school night. The one thing she really wanted for her birthday was to go to the Dresden Dolls concert, and the only night they were in town was a Tuesday. She managed a TMBG show on a week night last year without a stumble, so we finally gave in.

Somewhere between the time I bought tickets online for an “all ages” show (back in August) and the time I picked up tickets on Sunday, it changed to an “Adults only” show! Well, that was a surprise. I asked around a bit, and we decided that we were still cool with her attending. Fortunately, she and her friends had no trouble getting in. The reason for the rating was a burlesque show in the opening act. Goddess forbid that teens see boobies in pasties!

I still remember when birthday parties were all-girl affairs with lots of pinkness, games and balloons and crafts and squealing. They weren’t better than this, by any means, but time does fly.

Sam is trying to lure me back onto Second Life now. Dreadful man. I suppose we might as well go be even nerdier at this point.

Empowered by a microphone

I gave myself a gift today: a headset with my very own microphone for the podcast.

It isn’t as fancy as the one that I was using, which is my partner’s Very Nice (read: intimidating) microphone. That one, though, sits on the desktop on its own stand. I know this sounds pitiful, but I have trouble staying within proper range of it, because my voice is soft. I have to lean over and up from the chair I’m in, and even then I end up feeling as if I’ve had to nearly shout to record a podcast, which takes far more energy than simply speaking normally and is very stressful, to boot!

That removes one of the main barriers to getting podcasts out on a regular basis. The next is that Sam produces the show for me, but he has a full-time job and is much busier than I am outside the home. Do I dare release the show unedited, brain fog effects and all? What do y’all think?

The ManDiet

I have referred to The Man Diet several times as something I have done and recommend. After explaining it several times, I’ve decided to write it up here and just refer people to the article.

I call it the Man Diet, but that’s really a misnomer. It should be an SO Diet or Relationship Diet or something like that. It just doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as well, so just take it as given that I’m referring to women, men or whoever you would normally have romantic/sexual relationships with.

There was a time when I went from one relationship to the next. If I didn’t have one or more SOs, I felt incomplete. I didn’t have incredibly healthy relationships, but I was seldom alone! I derived much of my self-esteem from being in relationships with others.

Unfortunately, that led to "settling" for people who didn’t really meet the standards I thought I wanted in significant others, and often to accepting treatment that ranged from unpleasant to downright abusive.

Right now, I do not truly remember what triggered the realization that I’d never have a truly healthy relationship if I felt that I absolutely had to have a relationship with someone other than myself—that, in fact, cultivating a healthy relationship with myself, being complete in myself, was vital.

I didn’t think all that out so clearly at the beginning. I was just tired of the crap. I was tired of going from one relationship to the next and having the same crap come up over and over again. I was tired of the merry-go-round. I didn’t honestly count on having any more significant others. I just decided that I was done. I swore off men for a year.

At the beginning of that period, I felt anxious. I felt lonely. I felt more than a little desperate, because honestly, I have never been alone unless I chose to be that way. I’d spent my life using relationships to avoid having to deal with my own issues in a deep way. If I hadn’t told several friends what I was doing and asked them to help keep me honest, I don’t think I would have stuck with it.

In the next few months, I seemed to meet potential SOs every time I turned around. It was truly raining men! That was difficult. It was really tempting to just make a little exception, because hey, he was just so nice! Or so smart, or funny, or whatever. But there’s nothing like true friends to kick your butt when you need it.

To be honest, I’ve never had a problem dealing with most practical things—balancing checkbooks, basic home repairs, even simple auto maintenance. I didn’t need a man to take care of any of that. No, I looked to SOs to keep me company, to keep me occupied, to suck up lots of energy. I felt beautiful because they said I was, because they wanted to be with me.

So I found other ways to use my time and my energy. I went out with friends as friends. I developed new friendships that were much better because I wasn’t putting anything into wondering whether or not the relationship would move into other areas. If nobody else wanted to go see a particular music event, I went alone.

I finally faced up to some of the issues I was avoiding when most of my energy was going into interactions with an SO—like why did I need a man around to feel worthwhile? Why did I accept treatment that I wouldn’t want any of my friends to accept—that I had, in fact, told other people to walk away from? Why wasn’t I holding out for the kind of person I wanted? Hell, why hadn’t I simply become the person I wanted?

While I was really counting the days at first, by the end of that year I didn’t even realized it was done. I didn’t think about it until a couple of months later when a friend mentioned it. Hey, it was over! I realized that I didn’t feel an urge to run out and start anything new. I was just fine with being me, without a man.

I won’t pretend that I’m all past all of that stuff. It comes back at times, but not nearly as strongly. It’s much easier to insist on the kind of treatment I deserve from an SO, because I don’t fear being alone. I can be alone, and be happy. Not a problem.

I think spending at least a year alone as a truly independent adult is a good idea for absolutely anyone. If possible, live alone. Be solely responsible for yourself financially. Develop a healthy social life that has nothing to do with whether or not you have an SO. Do anything you’ve been putting off. Were you waiting to take a vacation until you had someone to go with? Go now. Go back to school. Change jobs. Volunteer. Learn to dance. Just do it, and enjoy it.

During that year, practice celibacy. That means not only do you not have SOs, but you don’t have “friends with benefits” or one-night stands. Just be with yourself. Honor yourself. Love yourself. Treat yourself as you would someone you truly treasure.

Tell somebody what you’re doing. Tell people you can trust to help you continue on to your goal. If someone isn’t supportive, distance yourself from that person. I don’t care if that person is an immediate family member. You need to maintain boundaries, and you don’t need anyone tearing you down. Seek out new friendships with people who are supportive.

It may take some people longer than a year to get past the "ohmigod I’m gonna get old and be ALONE!" panic. That’s fine. Take whatever time you need. I promise that you will be healthier and happier for it. The world, and all the men and women in it, will still be there when you’re ready.