Hosting Guests

Posted by Cyn

As the prac­tice of enter­tain­ing at home has, unfor­tu­nately, fallen by the way­side, many peo­ple have missed out on learn­ing how to do so politely. I know that I am not at all qual­i­fied to host, for instance, a for­mal din­ner. There are basic guide­lines to fol­low as a host, how­ever, that I have learned over the years.

  1. Please pro­vide a clean envi­ron­ment for your guests. For some of us, mold, mildew, dust and smoke present health prob­lems. Clut­ter is not nearly as much of a prob­lem as dirt­i­ness is. See Grunge Lev­els for an expla­na­tion of min­i­mum stan­dards of clean­li­ness if you are unsure of them.
  2. Ask your guests about any dietary or other restric­tions (pet aller­gies, etc.) in advance. Pro­vide veg­e­tar­ian dishes when host­ing peo­ple who pre­fer them. Always pro­vide non-​​alcoholic bev­er­ages if you are pro­vid­ing alco­holic ones. The same goes for stan­dard drinks if you nor­mally use those con­tain­ing aspar­tame or other arti­fi­cial sweet­en­ers —some peo­ple are very sen­si­tive to them.
  3. Pro­vide plenty of sup­plies in bath­rooms, such as toi­let paper, a fresh hand towel, and lots of soap. It is best to make extra rolls of toi­let paper read­ily avail­able, so that your guests will not have to ask for them.
  4. Make nap­kins plen­ti­fully and obvi­ously available.
  5. Coast­ers should always be read­ily vis­i­ble in liv­ing rooms, dens, etc.
  6. Be ready for your guests at least 30 min­utes prior to their sched­uled arrival. Do not, for instance, sched­ule a game to begin at 11, then expect your guests to wait while you fin­ish prepa­ra­tions for the game.
  7. If any mem­ber of your house­hold is or has recently been sick or infested with any par­a­site (such as lice), please inform your guests in advance so that they may make an informed deci­sion about expo­sure to contagion.
  8. Do not expect guests to assist in food prepa­ra­tion or clean­ing unless you have made that expec­ta­tion clear in advance and the guest has agreed to do so.
  9. Set appro­pri­ate bound­aries with your guests, and main­tain them. You must stay aware of what is hap­pen­ing at all times. If, for instance, one guest is act­ing in such a way as to cause oth­ers to be uncom­fort­able, you must inter­vene imme­di­ately and graciously.
  10. Endeavor to make your guests feel truly wel­come. I was taught that one must always offer guests some­thing to drink, at the very least.
  11. If you share liv­ing space with some­one who has guests over, you must at the very least be polite to those peo­ple. If you can­not man­age civil­ity, keep your­self wholly out of con­tact with those peo­ple. Yes, this require­ment applies to chil­dren as well as to adults who reside in a home.
  12. If a guest egre­giously vio­lates some nor­mal rule of behav­ior in your home, politely inform him of that rule so that he may rec­tify his behavior.
  13. If you have a pet who may scratch, bite, or jump up on any­one, inform guests of this fact in advance. If your ani­mal is par­tic­u­larly aggres­sive, con­fine it away your from guests.
  14. Nobody should know that you have an ani­mal because they smell it or its waste products.
  15. Scented can­dles, incense, and other fra­granced items can cause prob­lems for some guests. Be con­sid­er­ate in your use of them.
  16. Do not smoke while in the pres­ence of your guests unless you have asked if doing so will dis­com­fit them.
  17. Do not have a tele­vi­sion, video game, or com­puter on at all unless it is in some way vital to the planned occasion.
  18. The pres­ence of guests takes pri­or­ity over non-​​emergency phone con­ver­sa­tions and absolutely any kind of activ­ity that might take place online. Do not sit down at a com­puter to check your email or engage in con­ver­sa­tions with oth­ers online or on the phone while you have guests. Doing so is every bit as rude to do so as it would be to sim­ply walk out the door, leav­ing your guests there.
  19. Music should be selected to com­ple­ment the occa­sion. It should never be so loud as to cause any­one dif­fi­cult in fol­low­ing conversation.
  20. Do not expose minors in your home to any sex­u­ally explicit or overtly vio­lent mate­ri­als. If you have art­work or other items on dis­play in your home that may vio­late this rule, inform par­ents of this fact before they bring their chil­dren into your home, so that they may make informed choices. “Mature” video games or movies with adult con­tent should not be present. Cru­ci­fixes depict overt vio­lence and are highly offen­sive to many peo­ple as a result.
  21. When host­ing overnight guests, pro­vide clean, fresh sheets and bed­ding. Yes, you need to change the sheets before they arrive, and strip the bed after they depart. Make sure there are plenty of clean tow­els and bath­cloths avail­able to them, as well.

Last updated August 9, 2003

Permalink | June 26th, 2012

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