Enemy of Entropy

What Can All Couples Learn From Same-​​Sex Marriages?

11 June 2008, 5:49 pm. 1 Comment. Filed under News, Relationships.

From
Gay Unions Shed Light on Gen­der in Marriage

A grow­ing body of evi­dence shows that same-​​sex cou­ples have a great deal to teach every­one else about mar­riage and rela­tion­ships. Most stud­ies show sur­pris­ingly few dif­fer­ences between com­mit­ted gay cou­ples and com­mit­ted straight cou­ples, but the dif­fer­ences that do emerge have shed light on the kinds of con­flicts that can endan­ger het­ero­sex­ual relationships.

The find­ings offer hope that some of the most vex­ing prob­lems are not nec­es­sar­ily entrenched in deep-​​rooted bio­log­i­cal dif­fer­ences between men and women. And that, in turn, offers hope that the prob­lems can be solved.

One of the things the arti­cle points out is some­thing I’ve def­i­nitely noticed, that how peo­ple han­dle resolve con­flicts is far more impor­tant than how often they expe­ri­ence conflict.

One well-​​known study used math­e­mat­i­cal mod­el­ing to deci­pher the inter­ac­tions between com­mit­ted gay cou­ples. The results, pub­lished in two 2003 arti­cles in The Jour­nal of Homo­sex­u­al­ity, showed that when same-​​sex cou­ples argued, they tended to fight more fairly than het­ero­sex­ual cou­ples, mak­ing fewer ver­bal attacks and more of an effort to defuse the confrontation.

Con­trol­ling and hos­tile emo­tional tac­tics, like bel­liger­ence and dom­i­neer­ing, were less com­mon among gay couples.

1 Comment »

  1. avatar Hope. 11 June 2008, 10:17 pm

    Fas­ci­nat­ing :)

 

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