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All-Snakes Day?

Posted by Cyn | Posted in Holidays, Humor | Posted on 17-03-2008

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Is any­body cel­e­brat­ing that this year? I’m out of touch with the pagan crowd any more. I think the St. Patrick’s Day parade here in Atlanta was can­celed because of the tor­na­do Sat­ur­day. I was at home all day, so I didn’t both­er wear­ing green or even think­ing about it. One of the “dai­ly quote” emails I received includ­ed this bit of wis­dom:

Nev­er iron a four-leaf clover, because you don’t want to press your luck.

I have no idea how I got there, but I found myself read­ing Stuff White Peo­ple Like. I’d nev­er heard of it before, but from the num­ber of com­ments on every post, I must be in the minor­i­ty!

Most of the time, white peo­ple con­sid­er cel­e­bra­tions of Euro­pean her­itage to be racist unless they omit large swathes of the 16th through 20th cen­turies. But since the Irish nev­er engaged in colo­nial­ism and were actu­al­ly oppressed it is con­sid­ered accept­able and encour­aged to cel­e­brate their ances­try. For this rea­son, 100% of white peo­ple are proud to claim that they are some­what Irish.

A big part of St. Patrick’s Day is hav­ing white peo­ple feel par­tic­u­lar­ly upset at the oppres­sion of their ances­tors that has in no way trick­led down to them. If you find your­self talk­ing with a white per­son who tells you about how their great grand­fa­ther was oppressed by both the Eng­lish and the Amer­i­cans, it is strong­ly rec­om­mend­ed that you lend a sym­pa­thet­ic ear and shake your head in dis­be­lief. It is nev­er con­sid­ered accept­able to say: “but you’re white now, so what’s the problem?”

I’m still con­fused by the rec­om­men­da­tion that the read­er learn the lyrics to “Jump Around.” For one thing, are they “lyrics” when they are rapped more than sung? And, um, okay – I looked at the video, which seems to have some­thing to do with a St. Patrick’s Day parade. The lyrics don’t, though, that I can tell.

I’m hap­py to say that, accord­ing to the Full List of Stuff White Peo­ple Like, I’m not a typ­i­cal white per­son any more than I’m a typ­i­cal any­thing else. I’m hap­pi­ly me.

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