So I actually heard from someone via. I can’t remember if that’s ever happened to me before or not.
Anyway, I went to check out this person’s profile and realized mine was way out of date. Someday, I swear, I’m going to reproduce all the questions all those different places ask right here on my own site, keep that up to date, and refuse to fill out any other profiles.
Anyway, one of the fields was “From my past relationships I learned:” I found the question more interesting than most, so I’m reproducing my answer here, expanded a bit.
from my past relationships i learned: Something different every time 🙂 A few of them:
Honesty is the only way to relate that’s worth bothering with.
Love isn’t enough.
Communication is priceless.
Relationships take lots of work from everyone, and sometimes they just aren’t sustainable.
Sex is often the canary in the relationship mine. Barring health issues that make sex impossible or unlikely, a decrease in sexual intimacy is usually due to a decrease in overall intimacy, which is Bad.
There’s no understanding crazy. Just walk away with as much of your sanity intact as possible.
Nobody deserves abuse.
Staying together is seldom “best for the kids.” In fact, I’ve yet to see a situation in which it was best for anyone.
There’s no way one (sane) person in a couple or other grouping is happy if the other is miserable.
If someone changes in a big way right after you get married, start trying to get an annulment. He isn’t the person you thought you knew.
While an adult can lie to you easily, his kids can’t. Neither can his pets. If either doesn’t behave consistently with what she says, or she doesn’t treat them the way she says she believes in raising kids or pets or whatever, she’s a liar. Leave before you get any closer.
Some things are worth the possibility of a broken heart.
“If you really loved me you’d…” means that the speaker is an abusive asshole trying to get you to do something that’s unhealthy for you.
Playing together is essential. So is working together.
People are not projects.
Knights are notorious for setting up new towers with you inside them. The only safe “rescue” is the DIY version, where you just walk out of the prison
What are yours?